What I Read in December ’11

December was another light reading month for me. What with the holidays and Zelda Skyward Sword I just didn’t make much time for reading. Still, I had a pretty good year, reading more than the 45 books that was my goal. This year my goal is 50 books, and halfway through January I’m already on track.

The Old Man in the Corner
Baroness Emma Orczy

Orczy is an author most famous the Scarlet Pimpernel, which I’ve never read. I had no real idea what this was when I downloaded it to my phone, but I was looking for mysteries and this was there. The Old Man in the Corner was pretty much perfect for reading in down moments at work. It is not one mystery, but a collection of several short ones. It is pretty standard detective stuff, with only one really notable thing, that this “detective” only solves the cases for himself. No criminals are brought to justice, no cops are involved in the solving. It is just a woman talking with an old man over tea. The Old Man is generally much more sympathetic with the criminals rather than the police or even the victims.

The Adventures of Tintin Review

Tons of movie review clichés come to mind when thinking of The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn. “A non-stop thrill ride” or “action packed.” For once those clichés are completely true. With Tintin, Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson have made the best action/adventure movie since Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade. Based on a series of Belgian comics, The Adventures of Tintin is a truly wonderful experience. Once it hits its stride, it never slows or lets viewers catch their breath. It is easily the most fun movie of 2011.

Spielberg is the modern master of the adventure movie. There has been nothing for the last 20 years to match the Indiana Jones series. Tintin is Spielberg at the height of his powers. Every moment of this movie is just brimming with action. Fistfights, gunfights, and a marvelous pirate swordfight. It also features possibly the single best car chase I’ve ever seen on film. It is literally a thrill a minute.

Even with the constant motion of the plot, the heart of the characters comes through. There is the comically bumbling Detectives Thomson and Thompson, the drunken but stouthearted Captain Haddock, and the devious villain Saccharine. Tintin himself is somewhat bland, a solid everyman who never quits but lacks outstanding characters traits. Which is the intention, he plays the straight man to everyone else’s funny man.

The plot involves Tintin buying a model ship, only to find a piece of a map to a magnificent treasure. While he tries to unravel the mystery of the Unicorn, the name of the model ship, he ends up in a race against a monstrous criminal with only the aid of a bumbling drunken ship captain.

The only flaw of the film is its method of animation. It maybe could have been live action, or it could have been traditionally animated. But no, they used that incredibly off-putting and terrible uncanny valley monstrosity motion capture. The technique has been used to great effect in live action films, but the films that use it exclusively are uniformly bad looking. Tintin actually looks better than most, but many of the characters are more cartoon shaped, playing off the look of the comic characters, rather than trying to look like real people. Still, it is an unfortunate choice.

The other problem I had was also a viewing problem, but this coming rant is largely unrelated to Tintin. For the love of God can 3D movies die already. I can not think of a single film that has been improved by being in 3D. It makes the screen darker, the already overpriced tickets cost more and encourages bad filmmakers to show something coming out of the screen right at you! Wow! As far as I’m concerned, 3D can fuck off and go away forever. If I have a choice, I will never choose to see a movie in 3D, and have actually decided not to see films because they were only available in 3D near me.

The Adventures of Tintin, though, is really great. Any lovers of adventure owe it to themselves to see this. Spielberg and Jackson are a dynamite combination. This is just a wonderfully fun movie.

MI: Ghost Protocol Review

So I saw Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol recently. I’m not much a fan of the property, I’ve only seen the first film and I’ve never seen even a second of the TV show, but there were several reasons I was determined to see Ghost Protocol. First, it is directed by Brad Bird, the man behind two of my all time favorite films: The Incredibles and the Iron Giant (he also did Ratatouille, but I don’t like it quite as much). I believe this is his first live action film and I wanted to see how he handled it. The trailers also made it look like a stylish, slick action movie. I like those. Lastly, it features the acting talents of Simon Pegg, one of the few actors that can get me to almost any movie. Ghost Protocol delivered all that I wanted in a sleek, entertaining package.

Ghost Protocol is, of course, a spy movie. While there is some inherent twisting and turning, outside of one big twist that drives much of the film most of the revelations and reveals are personal, only tangentially related to the mission. Without the usual spy movie labyrinthine plot, Ghost Protocal must rely on the quality of its cast and supposedly impossible missions. The cast is a good one. I already love Simon Pegg, and ignoring off screen weirdness, Tom Cruise is a very entertaining leading man. The rest of the cast acquits itself well, too. The missions are suitably extraordinary and entertaining. More than most action movies, Ghost Protocol gives a sort of behind the scenes look at what is going on. It is as much about the team setting up as it is the execution of the plans. It helps that the action is cleanly and clearly filmed. Bird wisely eschews that shaky-cam nonsense that has ruined the recent Bond films.

The plot, while not particularly complex is too convenient at times. People just happen to be in the right place at the right time, and there is one nonsensical use of a secret identity, but the action carries it over any rough patches. Tom Cruise is still a legitimate action star in several nice fights scenes and really good sandstorm chase scene that, despite being about a terrible blinding sandstorm is still clear.

In the end, Ghost Protocol is not quite a great movie. While all of it is well made, it just doesn’t come together as something truly memorable. All of the pieces are there, and it is hard to pinpoint a true flaw, but somehow the whole thing feels a bit empty. Ghost Protocol is just about as good a popcorn movie as anyone could expect, and is absolutely a movie worth seeing.

***½ Stars

Blogging plans for 2012

Yeah, I took a week off with the new year. I have plenty of big things planned for the blog in 2012. My goal for the year is 150 posts, which is actually a few less than last year. I just don’t see myself having the time I had last year to write here. Also, I think aiming for slightly fewer posts will help me make the rest better. We’ll see about that.

I intend to continue my monthly projects, like Video Game Archaeology and What I Read. I would like to bring back the comic book character spotlights, but those are a lot of work and will probably have to wait until the second half of the year. There will still be movie reviews and frequent video game thoughts. Most of the stuff I did last year. I don’t plan to continue doing comic issue reviews. I’ve just never been comfortable reviewing incomplete chunks of stories. I do want to keep writing about comics, but I don’t like the review format.

As far as new things, I have planned a complete reread of Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time series to coincide with the release of the final book later this year. I also am planning a series of posts as a complement to VGA that will look at popular, important games, starting with a replay of the entire Legend of Zelda series. Another new thing is my planned continued reread of the Johns/Goyer JSA, the first part of which I’ve already posted.

One last change is that I’d like to make my blog a bit more personal. It is my blog, damnit, I want to write about me. I still plan to focus on video games and other supremely unimportant things, the subtitle to this blog is still my mission statement, but possibly a more me-centric way.

NFL Week 17

Lazy because New Years, just picks.

 

Lions at Packers:  Packers

49ers at Rams:  49ers

Jets at Dolphins:  Jets

Bears at Vikings:  Bears

Bills at Patriots:  Patriots

Panthers at Saints:  Saints

Redskins at Eagles: Redskins

Colts at Jaguars:  Colts

Titans at Texans:  Titans

Buccaneers at Falcons:  Falcons

Ravens at Bengals:  Bengals

Steelers at Browns:  Steelers

Chiefs at Broncos:  Broncos

Chargers at Raiders:  Raiders

Seahawks at Cardinals:  Seahawks

Cowboys at Giants:  Giants

Last Week:  13-3

Total:  158-82

Top 10 Games of 2011

With 2011 coming to a close, I am looking back on the games that I played this year and like all great minds, I am making a top 10 list of my favorite games. Now, I am limited to only Wii and handheld games, since those are the only systems I own and I only played about 20 new games this year. Most of what I played was several years old at least. So this is a somewhat limited list. Let’s get on with it.

10. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D
This is still a phenomenal game, even after 15 years. The only reason it isn’t higher on the list is that it is an only barely touched up port of a 15 year old game. Still, it is a good port of a great game. If you haven’t played Ocarina of Time, what is wrong with you?

9. Okamiden
If I had stopped this game halfway through, it would probably have been 4 or 5 spots higher on the list. Okamiden started out a delightful romp, but the longer it went on the less fun it was. It looks and sounds great, but the early simplicity is replaced not with increasingly complex difficulty but with sheer tedium. It is hard not to compare Okamiden to the DS Zelda games and find it lacking. It has a cohesive, explorable over world, but it stumbles nearly everywhere else in comparison. Still, it is a very good game, if not a great one like its predecessor.

8. Pokemon White
It is a new Pokemon game. There are a number of changes on the periphery, but the core gameplay remains unchanged. I plowed through to main game right as I got this, but haven’t felt the need to go back for the post game yet. Still, it’s a Pokemon game, you already know it you like it or not. I do like it.

7. Kirby: Return to Dreamland
This doesn’t quite reach the magical heights of Nintendo’s best games, but it is still a terrific co-op plat former. This is the game Kirby fans have been waiting for since Kirby 64 and it didn’t disappoint.

6. Professor Layton and the Last Spector
More Layton is always good. There is little new in this fourth entry (except for London Life, which I’ve barely touched) but as long as there are new puzzles, I’ll buy new Layton games. Plus, newcomer characters Emmy and Inspector Grosky are some of the best new characters of the year. Good, good stuff.

5. Solatorobo: Red the Hunter
Solatorobo is a game that whatever its faults, of which there are several, it is so earnest and heartfelt that is it hard to hold it against the game. It is a delightful romp through a charming, fantastical world. Sure, the game never really moves beyond picking up things and throwing them at enemies and the plot goes off the rails near the end but the bulk of the game is pure cheerful fun.

4. Kirby: Mass Attack
While Return to Dreamland was a classic Kirby platformer, Mass Attack is one of the pink blob’s experimental games. One that worked out better than most. It is a surprisingly intuitive combination of platformer and RTS that is simply a blast to play. If you own any sort of DS you should own this title.

3. Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective
This comes from the makers of Ace Attorney, and obviously so. It has the same wacky yet dark story and some top notch writing. The story is really great and the puzzle-y gameplay is nearly perfect.

2. Tactics Ogre
I love a good TRPG, and this remake of Tactics Ogre may be the best I’ve ever played. It comes from the same stock as the classic Final Fantasy Tactics and it shows. I put more than 60 hours on this thing and didn’t quite beat it. This game is nearly perfect.

1. The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword
This isn’t even close. I loved Skyward Sword. I loved every part of it. The new run button, the motion controller sword fighting, you name it. Plus, Groose is the best new character of the year. Every part of this game is great.

NFL Week 16

This didn’t post the day I had it scheduled to. Rest assured, everybody that was waiting for my picks, here they are. I absolutely made this picks before the games were played.

Texans at Colts: Colts
Broncos at Bills: Broncos
Cardinals at Bengals: Bengals
Jaguars at Titans: Titans
Raiders at Chiefs: Raiders
Dolphins at Patriots: Patriots
Giants at Jets: Giants
Rams at Steelers: Steelers
Vikings at Redskins: Redskins
Buccaneers at Panthers: Panthers
Browns at Ravens: Ravens
Chargers at Lions: Lions
Eagles at Cowboys: Cowboys
49ers at Seahawks: 49ers
Bears at Packers: Packers

Last Week: 7-9
Total: 145-79

LoZ Skyward Sword Review

This post was supposed to be more of a well-considered review than the unabashed gushing that was my previous Zelda: Skyward Sword post but now that I’ve beaten the game, I realize that all I want to do is gush about it some more. I absolutely loved The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword. There are some flaws, there are with every game, but they are tiny, negligible things barely worth mentioning and only worth noting so that they might be cleaned up in the eventual sequel. Skyward Sword is exactly what I love about video games.

Among the game’s many strengths, perhaps the greatest is that it never forgets that it is a video game. Unlike most of the series 3D entries, Skyward Sword is more closely descended from the original Legend of Zelda, rather than from Ocarina of Time. Ocarina and its ilk, as good as all of those games are, try to make Hyrule seem like a real place. OoT’s Hyrule Field is big and empty, impressive for its time and great hub for that adventure, but ultimately barren. Skyward Sword dispenses with the notion that this is a place that could exist outside of the confines of the game. The areas are no longer one large, connected place, but discreet sections. This may seem a blasphemy to longtime Zelda fans, but what it loses in cohesion, it more than makes up for in playability.

Each of the games 3 main overworld areas feels more like a section of Zelda 1’s world that any other game in the series. It isn’t just a path to lead you to the next dungeon, with the odd puzzle and token enemies to deal with. They are intricately designed gauntlets of puzzles and foes that are nearly as meaty as the dungeons themselves. There is a fine attention to detail apparent when you return to each area later in the game, armed with new items and able to discover new shortcuts and areas previously unavailable. While exploring the worlds of previous Zelda’s was fun, they were always empty, even with the number of secrets hidden about. (While something of an exception for Majora’s Mask, that game too was dense.) In Skyward Sword, any time you are on the overworld it is game time. No more running straight through an area, at least not the first time. This makes each section feel as intense and satisfying as the dungeons themselves.

The dungeons, the most important part of any Zelda game, are satisfying as well. After the first few simple dungeons, they really expand into true meaty obstacles. They also have some of the best, most innovative designs in the series. The dungeons feature effective use of the item found there, but aren’t wholly reliant on them. There are a few straight dungeons, but there is also an old abandoned pirate ship and dilapidated factory. The best dungeon is probably the Ancient Cistern. There are only two floors, but one represents heaven and the other hell, with completely different challenges on both floors. And the boss is one of the best in the series. Which makes it an anomaly in this game. If there is a weakness to Skyward Sword, it is in the boss battles. Several are repeated, several are boring, and one is downright laughable. Many of them are still decent from a gameplay perspective, but their look and how easy it is to beat them make sure they are a disappointment.

On the presentation side of things, Skyward Sword also excels. The graphics are some of the best I have seen, no need for qualifications about that being for a Wii game. Regardless of what it lack in technical power, Zelda looks good. The art design covers any deficiencies it might have. The soft, impressionistic backgrounds are magnificent, popping with life in color as it goes from vague dots to full clarity. I wish all games could look this good. The music is amazing as well, which is no surprise. Every Zelda game since the first has sounded wonderful.

The story and setting are likewise excellent. It is the usual Link must save Zelda stuff, but it is better told than normal. The first hour or two of the game, which are a bit slow, are used to set up an actual relationship between Link and Zelda. It also sets up the people of Skyloft, who are easily the best incidental characters of the series. Each of the townsfolk is well characterized and feels more real than most games, despite Zelda’s lack of voice acting. With just a word or a grunt, Skyward Sword imbues its characters with more life than games with hours of cut scenes, whether it is Peatrice’s bored grunts or the nervous jittery Fledge. The real star is the buffoonish, bombastic Groose. He starts as the school bully, who has a crush on Zelda and is jealous of Link. Over the course of the game, he develops into one of the greatest ally any Link has had. While the town of Skyloft in not especially big, the characters therein fill it with amazing life.

It all comes together into a game, that while not without flaws, is one of the greatest gaming experiences of the year, if not the generation. It shows that Nintendo still is the best at crafting exciting, innovative, lengthy adventures. No one comes close to offering an experience similar to Zelda.

NFL Week 15

Colts are going to win one eventually, and the Titans look likely. Tebow-mania continues. And the Steelers at the 49ers should be a good game, but I’m taking the Steelers, who still have some pressure on them. The 49ers have already made the playoffs.

Jaguars at Falcons: Falcons
Cowboys at Buccaneers: Cowboys
Dolphins at Bills: Bills
Seahawks at Bears: Seahawks
Titans at Colts: Colts
Packers at Chiefs: Packers
Bengals at Rams: Bengals
Saints at Vikings: Saints
Giants at Redskins: Giants
Panthers at Texans: Texans
Lions at Raiders: Raiders
Patriots at Broncos: Broncos
Jets at Eagles: Jets
Browns at Cardinals: Cardinals
Ravens at Chargers: Ravens
Steelers at 49ers: Steelers

Last Week: 13-3
Total: 138-70

Not So Glorious

For some reason I am having a hard time hating Glory of Heracles, an RPG for the DS, even though it is giving me numerous reasons why I should. The game looks ugly, the game systems are bland, standard JRPG fare and every other part of it is obtuse and unintuitive. Yet somehow, I am managing to eke a modicum of enjoyment out of it, though I am having trouble pinpointing just why that is.

Glory of Heracles is a special kind of hideous. It is ugly despite looking exactly how it is intended to, like a ghoulish Wind Waker. Much like the DS Fire Emblem, it uses what appear to be 3D models shaded to look like 2D sprites, which results in nicely animated monstrosities that manage to have all of the drawbacks of both 3D and 2D but almost none of the strengths. It is evident that a lot of care and effort went into making the game look exactly as it does, though I can’t imagine why. Even the DS Dragon Quest games, with their tiny sprites on top of PS1 quality 3D backgrounds look leagues better than this.

Speaking of Dragon Quest, if you’ve played any entry in that series then you are about 85% of the way to mastering Glory of Heracles’ battle system. Dragon Quest gets something of a pass for being very vanilla in its battle system because it was first and it generally does something else interesting, like a job system or monster recruiting. Glory of Heracles, though, does nothing interesting. Its only deviations from the generic are tedious. It puts the enemies in rows, but the only purpose for this appears to be to make random battles last twice as long, with the back row inaccessible to attacks until the front row is defeated. There is also some sort of field element system, but it has affected me exactly one time in 15 hours of play, so I’m not exactly sure how it works. Overall, the battle system is a blander, emptier version of Dragon Quest’s.

Then there are the simple things like exploring towns, which the game also manages to muck up. Take opening doors, for instance. When you walk up to a door, you push the ‘A’ button to open it. Not just run into to it, like most games, or push a button to enter. You push a button to open the door, but it doesn’t take you through it. There has yet to be an instance where I would want to open a door, but not to enter it. It is a small thing, but that extra step of tedium is indicative of my entire experience with this game.

Despite its demonstrable ineptitude, I am somewhat enjoying Glory of Heracles. I have a history of enjoying mediocre (Magical Starsign) or even terrible (The Legend of Dragoon) RPGs, but right now I have a backlog of supposedly very good DS RPGs to play, like Radiant Historia and SMT Strange Journey, that I should be playing instead. But I keep coming back to this piece. The story is bland and the Greek setting is squandered. I guess I keep playing because in a lot of ways Glory of Heracles reminds me of second tier 16-bit RPGs that I never got to play. It has that same sort of copycat with a touch or originality that those games seemed to have. Maybe this is my way of showing myself that I do not need to play Lufia or Breath of Fire. Or maybe I should, I doubt they are worse than this.