Author: skoce

Rating the Relaunch

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Its now three-ish weeks into the DC Relaunch and I guess its time for my take on the books released so far. I have read them all, and so far I’d call the relaunch a success. I’m going to give my take on all 27 of the books released so far with a brief review and a score from 1-10, going in alphabetical order because why not?

Action Comics.  Grant Morrison and Rags Morales.

The best book of the relaunch so far. Morrison gives us a significantly younger, less powerful Superman, as well as one who is more proactive. This issue moves at a frantic, frenetic pace, never really stopping to let the reader catch their breath. It is heavy on action but still manages to seed tons and tons of Superman stories to come. Most amazing is the fact that nearly throughout it all Superman is smiling. He may have a touch of Batman in his methods, but he isn’t dark and brooding. Just a great, great issue.
10/10

Animal Man. Jeff Lemire and Travel Foreman.

Another truly great book. Lemire lays the ground work for an excellent horror tinged superhero family comic. Foreman’s sparse artwork complements it perfectly, especially in the terrifying dream sequence near the end. The only flaw, if there is one, is that it is pretty dense. Lemire uses an excerpt from a fake magazine interview to explain who Animal Man is that is as clumsy as it is effective. This is shaping up to be something different than the usual superhero fare and an excellent read.
9/10

Batgirl. Gail Simone and Ardian Syaf.

Gail Simone writes Barbara Gordon’s return to Batgirl, and walking, and it is something of a disappointment. This is not a strictly bad comic, but it is somewhat overwrought, especially that last page, and too focused on what came before. There is a tepid new villain and a potentially interesting roommate and some generic superhero action. Ardian Syaf’s art is adequate, at times very good but not consistently. Simone does occasionally tend to miss with her stories (though for every bad one there are 4 good ones) and I expect this comic to improve as it goes.
6/10

Batman and Robin. Peter Tomasi and Pat Gleason.

Pat Gleason’s art is wonderful. It is detailed and elastic and a touch gruesome. I think he might be better suited for a book with monsters, like his previous work on Green Lantern Corps or something like Frankenstein or Demon Knights, but it is always very good. Tomasi lays it on a bit thick, perhaps, but subtly is not always a virtue. This is a book that new readers should be able to pick up and quickly grasp the relationships between the characters. It is little more than a simple Batman story, but it is a very executed one.
7/10


Batwing. Judd Winick and Ben Oliver.

This is a basically new character and this first issue gives the reader no reason to care about him. Winick actually tells the us very little about Batwing and introduces a ridiculous (in a bad way) villain named Massacre. The story is just unappealing and unexceptional. Oliver’s art has great figure work, but it is severely lacking in background detail. This is a problem and the books main selling point is that it is Batman in Africa, but there is little in the art to cue the reader in to the exotic locale. This is simply not a very good book.
4/10

Batwoman. J.H. Williams III and W. Haden Blackman.

This is the best looking book of the reboot. Williams art is fantastic, with inventive page layouts and stunning attention to detail. He changes the look of the book completely depending on whether Kate is being Batwoman or not. The story is also very good. It might read a little too much like the continuing adventures of Batwoman for some new readers, but since there is really only one previous Batwoman story and it is excellent this is no big deal. It does establish who Kate Kane and her friends are. Just another great book.
9/10

Deathstroke. Kyle Higgins and Joe Bennet.

This sure is a Deathstroke comic. Higgins effectively, save for some over-the-top early captions, establishes who Deathstroke is and what problem he faces. Bennet’s art is clean and effective. It is a violent comic, but that is a feature, not a bug. It is not to everyone’s taste, it is not to my taste, but it works as what it is. A comic about hired killer trying to prove he isn’t over the hill could be decent, but it is not really something I want to read. It does fill its niche with quite well, though.
6/10

Demon Knights. Paul Cornell and Diogenes Neves.

Another good book. Cornell is setting up a swords and sorcery magnificent seven and it is highly entertaining. The cast quickly shows themselves, though there is barely time to establish the scene. Neves’ art occasionally looks sloppy, but there are some great facial expressions and some awesome dino-dragons. This issue is not quite as slum dunk as the concept, but it has the story moving forward and promises great things to come.
7/10

Detective Comics. Tony Daniel.

This is a bog standard, grim and gritty Batman comic. Tony Daniel tries to write like Frank Miller, not a bad goal, but doesn’t pull it off. His art looks really good for the most part, though. The problem is that this is mostly just a Batman versus Joker story, something that even people who don’t read comics have seen a thousand times, and a not particularly good one. It ends with a gruesome surprise, but it doesn’t feel like something that will stick. This is a bad issue.
3/10

Frankenstein, Agent of S.H.A.D.E. Jeff Lemire and Alberto Ponticelli

Here Lemire sets up a science action team made of monsters lead by Frankenstein. He throws idea after idea on the page in the perfect Kirby fashion. This is an efficient and effective introduction. We meet the team, same as the Flashpoint mini-series plus a mummy, and get right down to the monster killing. Ponticelli’s art is scratchy and wobbly and a perfect look for the book. Big on action and on craziness, this is exactly the kind of book I like to read.
8/10

Green Arrow. J.T. Krul and Dan Jurgens.

This is a dull issue. Green Arrow has been nearly entirely rebooted. He is now much younger and more James Bond than Robin Hood. To go with this new look Green Arrow, we have art that is decidedly old fashioned. Jurgens work is not bad, but it looks like a book from the early to mid 80’s. An odd fit for a new take on an old character. The story is not bad, it is a simple superhero story. It is nice to have some of those, but this is not particularly interesting. Though I doubt Green Arrow fans will be happy with this new take, maybe the emerald archer will find some new life with this not uninteresting set-up.
5/10

Green Lantern. Geoff Johns and Doug Mahnke.

This might as well be Green Lantern issue 68, since nothing changes from before. Just like at the end of the War of the Green Lanterns crossover, Hal Jordan has lost his ring and Sinestro has returned to the Green Lantern Corps. Two thirds of the issue is inept mess Hal on Earth, realizing that without his ring he is a horrible screw up and the other third is Sinestro’s adventures in space. Mahnke’s art is amazing, as always. He makes the unreal aliens that make up much of the cast look as real as the people. This is not a fresh new take, but it is still really good. Johns’ Green Lantern work has faltered occasionally, but this is a return to from.
8/10

Grifter. Nathan Edmonson and Cafu.

Instead of writing a good mystery in this issue, Edmonson wrote a dull one confusingly. It is not a complex story, but it is told in a way to make it hard to understand, all disjointed and out of order. The art is simply adequate. There is just not a lot to recommend here. It could develop into something interesting, a man fighting monsters only he can see, but this first issue is a mess.
4/10

Hawk and Dove. Sterling Gates and Rob Liefeld.

I don’t have the somewhat comical, hateful reaction that most of the internet seems to have to Rob Liefeld’s art, but neither do I like it that much. It is not so much stylized as sloppy. With him on it, I don’t think I was ever going to like this book. It doesn’t help that it was written to deliberately play to Liefeld’s strengths and not, it seems, to tell a good story. It is also odd that Hawk and Dove seem to have come through the relaunch completely unchanged, despite not being a particularly fresh concept. This is probably a treat for Liefeld fans, but it is mostly a mess.
2/10

Justice League. Geoff Johns and Jim Lee.

The only problem with this comic is outrageous expectations, a problem DC brought on itself. Unlike nearly every other book, Justice League is an origin story. It is going show how the Justice League came to be. It might have been more effective to show the whole league in action, but I don’t see any reason to complain about the book being something it is not. Lee’s art is the same genre defining art it has been for 20 years, and Johns plays this issue a little more slowly than usual. Probably a bit too slowly. Batman and Green Lantern are the only members in most of the book, and their interactions ring true. GL is reckless and overconfident and Batman is more than a little dismissive, though he seems to see the advantage of the powers GL possess. This is not an outstanding issue, but it is a good one.
7/10

Justice League International. Dan Jurgens and Aaron Lopresti.

Jurgens’ writing is a bit ham-fisted, with some clumsy team building pages and some nonsense about protesters outside the Hall of Justice, but the plotting is mostly tight. It sets up a varied cast for a U.N. controlled team that might not be under control for long. Lopresti is a terrific artist, and the book is bright, colorful and expressive. Maybe it is my attachment to these characters, but I am inclined to like this book.
7/10

Legion Lost. Fabian Nicieza and Pete Woods.

Legion Lost indeed. The Legion of Superheroes, DC’s super teens from the future, has a reputation for being impenetrable. Whether that is generally true or not, it is true for this issue. It is hectic and poorly explained and downright confusing. Pete Woods are is nice, but looks unfinished on some pages. There is the seed of a good series here, with heroes from the future being stuck in the past, but it needs to slow down and breathe.
4/10

Men of War. Ivan Brandon and Tom Derenick. Jonathan Vankin and Paul Winslade.

This issue introduces the reader to the new Sgt. Rock, grandson of the old Sgt. Rock. The concept her is solid, soldiers dealing with the wake of superheroes. The execution is also solid if not particularly great. This book simply lack oomph. This first issue doesn’t really take advantage of either its war book setting or its superhero connection. It just sort of is.
5/10

Mr .Terrific. Eric Wallace and Gianluca Gugliotta.

This is an intriguing but sloppy first issue. I am fond of Gugliotta’s art, but some panels and figures just seem off. The plotting is good, with a nice balance of action and world building, but the dailogue is sloppy. I am going to give Wallace the benefit of the doubt that this was supposed to have a snarky tone, but that is not effectively communicated. Everyone in the book seems like an asshole. If it finds a consistent tone this could be a really good book. This issue was simply okay.
6/10

O.M.A.C. Dan Didio and Keith Giffen.

This is simply wall to wall action.  Office drone Kevin Kho is turned into a monster but the mysterious Brother Eye then tears his way through Cadmus Labs until he finds and destroys what he is looking for.  It is a Kirby homage that throws as many of the Kings DC ideas into the book as possible. Giffen’s art captures Kirby’s energy. It is pure fun for 20 pages. There isn’t much that isn’t fighting some kind of crazy science creation, but there doesn’t need to be.
7/10

 

 

Red Lanterns. Peter Milligan and Ed Benes.

If the whole issue was like the opening I would have rated this issue much higher. The absurd and gleeful violence in this book is entertaining. Milligan plays it so close to satire but doesn’t quite go over that line. It is definitely self aware, but not mocking the concept. Benes provides his usual trashy but competent art, which looks much better when there are blood vomiting cats on the page than absurdly sexualized aliens. If it didn’t end with overwrought Earth violence and a backstory explaining soliloquy from Atrocitus this could have been a really good issue.
5/10

Resurrection Man. Danny Abnet and Andy Lanning and Fernando Dagnino.

This book seems perfectly crafted to not appeal to me. The art isn’t necessarily bad, but it is dark and scratchy I just find it off-putting. The main characters power is interesting, that he dies and comes back to life with a new power, but we don’t learn much about him besides that. The fact that he is wanted by both the forces of Heaven and Hell is not a plus, that doesn’t interest me in the slightest. This whole issue is dull and faux edgy.
4/10

Static Shock. John Rozum and Scott McDaniel.

This is an effective attempt to horn in on Marvel’s Spider-Man market. Rozum and McDaniel do a good job of mixing superheroics and family time while still communicating who Static is.  The villain team isn’t anything that interesting, but whatever.  The art is stylized and fit’s the story and character. My only problem is that I don’t particularly care for Spider-Man, let alone knock-off electic Spider-Man.
7/10

Stormwatch. Paul Cornell and Miguel Sepulveda.

I expected better from Cornell. Sepulveda’s art looks rushed and sloppy, but it al least has a nice style. The writing, though, does little but clumsily introduce the cast. It is a good concept, though it doesn’t seem to be the same as the Wildstorm version was, though they share many characters. I know by issue 3 they are going to be fighting the moon, but this first issue is just clumsy.
6/10

Suicide Squad. Adam Glass and Federico Dallocchio.

No book got a more negative pre-realease reaction than Suicide Squad. Between the ill-advised character redesigns to the interviews with the writer that suggest a complete misunderstanding of the characters and concept, it seemed like this book would be a stinker. And it is. The art is inconsistent at best and the story is ugly and nasty and poor. There is nothing to recommend here.
2/10

Superboy. Scott Lobdell and R.B. Silva.

Superboy is another character who got a complete reboot. He, however, seems to be coming back exactly as he was when he first arrived. This issue is dense. It may be only 20 pages, but it covers much more ground than most of the other titles. Superboy is a lab experiment, with no morals because he has had no experiences. It is as much about the N.O.W.H.E.R.E. lab that he was made in than Superboy himself. Silva’s art is clean and expressive; it looks really nice. The only problem I can see is that it seems to tie in to Teen Titans, which looks terrible.
8/10

Swamp Thing. Scott Snyder and Yanick Paquette.

Scott Snyder’s first book of the relaunch is something of a disappointment. Not that it isn’t good, it is, but because I was expecting great, which it wasn’t. There just isn’t much here. Too much time is spent trying to reconcile and recap Swamp Things history and not enough time is spent on the actual story. The story that is started and teased is intriguing, but it is unfortunate that in a comic titled Swamp Thing, Swamp Thing doesn’t appear until the last page. Paquette’s art is really good, though. This is a good start, but not a great one.
8/10

There are my thoughts on the first half of DC’s New 52. Most of the books I was really looking forward to have already come out, but there are still several good looking ones on the horizon. Wonder Woman looks great, as do Batman and Aquaman. While I have no idea what the writing will be like, I can say for sure that The Flash will be a good looking book, possibly challenging Batwoman for the best art of the relaunch. See ya later, space cowboys.

Always Sunny Episode 6

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The Gang Finds a Dead Guy.

I’ll start by saying I appreciate Mac wanting to beat up Tom Brady, a sentiment I agree with. Of course, Dee is absolutely right, Mac is delusional. This is not one of my favorite episodes, though it does have some really good bits.

It starts as the title says, the gang finds a dead guy. This really isn’t much of anything until his granddaughter arrives and Mac and Dennis start competing to win her affections. This is one of the earliest spots that Macs proves he is, if not a better person at least more naïve than his friends. Yes, all four of them are awful, awful people, but Mac is often a little less awful. Dennis is a complete sociopath, Dee pretends to care but doesn’t really care for anything other than herself and Charlie is a monster man. Mac is a lowlife, but aside from the joy he takes in spreading STDs he is mostly a stupid but harmless lowlife. In dealing with the granddaughter Dennis is able to beat Mac every time because Mac has limits to how far he will take a lie. Dennis doesn’t.

This also triggers Dee’s story about feeling bad that the man dies old and alone and decides to visit her elderly grandfather. Unfortunately she has a not too funny exaggerated fear of old people. So she recruits Charlie to come with her and their grandfather mistakes Charlie for Dennis. He has a task for Dennis/Charlie, to bring him his war uniform so he can die in uniform. He also throws around a ton of anti-semitic slurs, alluding to the soon to come reveal.

While Dennis and Mac’s lies escalate, Charlie finds out that Dennis’s Pop-pop was a Nazi. He let’s Mac in on the secret and decide not to bring the uniform to the old Nazi, but to sell it. The terrific verbal beat down that the curator of the museum lays on the pair makes them decide maybe they can’t sell it.

As the episode goes along, Mac gets more and more frustrated while Dennis gets more outlandish and smug. It culminates when Dennis comes to gloat over his victory in the battle for the girl and Mac drops the Nazi grandpa bomb on him in front of the burning uniform. While Mac loses at every turn in this episode, he is able to ruin Dennis’s victory.

This is one of the weaker episodes in the series. Charlie has little to do and Dee’s fear of old people just isn’t that funny. Still, the Nazi stuff and Dennis and Mac’s little war keep the episode from being a complete loss. That bit with the museum curator is really one of the best in the show. I do like that this episode continues the feeling of not forcing the gang into outlandish situations, but letting them get there on their own. Except for Dee’s irrational fear, there is pretty clear escalation to every part of the episode.

My NFL Predictions Week 2

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Ouch! So not only did I go only 8-8 on my week one picks, but the day after I predicted the Colts would play a home Super Bowl with Peyton missing a month or less, Peyton has neck surgery that is guaranteed to keep him off the field for at least half of the season. I believe I am well within my made up predicting rights to change my Super Bowl pick, but that is the path of pansies. I’m sticking with the Colts and a second half Peyton miracle. Why not? (Also, I’m changing my AFC Super Bowl pick to the Jets, in complete reversal of my previous thoughts.)

On to this week, in which I should see an improvement in my percentage. The first week is always a toss up; no one really knows who has it in any given year. Who saw the Chiefs playing that badly against the Bills? Or the Steelers terrible performance against the Ravens? Week 1 was weird, but it should give us some idea of what will happen in week 2. Here are my predictions:

  • Raiders v Bills:  Bills 27-20
  • Chiefs v Lions: Lions 31-21
  • Ravens v Titans: Ravens 31-13
  • Browns v Colts:  Colts 17-13
  • Buccaneers v Vikings: Vikings 24-21
  • Bears v Saints: Saints 34-31
  • Jaguars v Jets: Jets 24-7
  • Seahawks v Steelers: Steelers 28-14
  • Cardinals v Redskins: Cardinals 31-28
  • Packers v Panthers: Packers 35-13
  • Cowboys v 49ers: Cowboys 24-20
  • Bengals v Broncos: Broncos 23-17
  • Texans v Dolphins: Texans 34-27
  • Chargers v Patriots: Patriots 31-24
  • Eagles v Falcons: Falcons 28-24
  • Rams v Giants: Giants 28-24
Last week: 8-8.
Total 8-8

Thoughts on Lost in Shadow

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After beating Sin & Punishment — on easy, if you must know — I started up several Wii games to see what would grab me. After trying out Epic Mickey, Muramasa and Cursed Mountain, all games I plan to return to, I finally decided to stick with Lost in Shadow.

Lost in Shadow is a 2D platformer from Hudson. It is hard not to compare it to the likes of Ico, if only due to the aural and visual similarities, but they have wholly different gameplay goals. It tries very, very hard to capture the ethereal moodiness of Ico and it succeeds fairly well. It is certainly more “gamey” than Ico is, being split into levels and tracking experience points, but what is loses in cohesion it makes up for in mechanics. Ico is a singular experience that eschews many video game conventions, like HUDs and separated levels. It is in many ways a more direct adventure game. Lost in Shadow takes the look and feel of Ico, but marries it to a more traditional video game set up. It actually plays very much like a 16-bit action/platformer. Which is absolutely a good thing.

You play as a shadow separated from its body, a la Peter Pan, and must traverse a castle to reunite with it. Being a shadow, your avatar can only travel along other shadows. So you must manipulate objects in the physical foreground to make paths in the shadowy background. It makes for some ingenious fun. The levels tend, at least in the early going, to be short, but they all have a satisfying puzzle at their heart.

One gameplay area Lost in Shadow does seem to take its cues from Ico is in the combat. Though how fun it was is debatable, when you fought in Ico it got across the feeling of being a small boy fighting with a stick. The shadow also swings his sword with little skill. It is hard to judge and ungainly, but perfectly responsive. The combat is slow and nowhere near as interesting as the puzzles are. Hopefully it stays a secondary concern ans doesn’t overwhelm the good parts of the game.

I am only about 35% through Lost in Shadow, and I have enjoyed it thoroughly so far. There is still plenty of time for it to screw up, but as long as it doesn’t go meat circus* stupid it should still be a pretty good game.

*The Meat Circus is the final stage in the seminal Psychonauts and is damn near unplayable. It is both stupidly hard and seemingly designed for a moveset the player doesn’t have. It nearly ruins one of the best games of the PS2 generation.

What I Read in August

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Aided by my new fangled smart-phone I did a whole lot of reading last month. Up significantly from my average of 4 books a month, I read 7 in August. While that is not a particularly large number, when you factor in the quality of some of those books, I believe it is safe to say I kicked reading’s ass in August. Continue reading →

Comic Reviews for late August

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Time for more comic reviews.

  • Batgirl 24. Brian Q. Miller and Pere Perez.

If there is one book disappearing in the big DC relaunch that I’m going to miss it is Batgirl. Unfortunately, this issue rushes through what was probably supposed to be an epic showdown with Steph’s in order to have an actual farewell. As a single issue, it is not that impressive. As a goodbye at the end of a phenomenal 2-year run, it is terrific. Perez’s art is perfectly fitting and there are some wonderful and touching heart-to-hearts. There are also a few great fantasy pages (due to Batgirl being infected by a Black Mercy) that are all worthy of Elseworlds miniseries on their own. It is a good issue, but only for those sentimental for this title. ***½

  • DC Retroactive The 90’s: Justice League 1. Keith Giffen, J.M DeMatteis and Kevin Maguire.

The old JLI team reunites one last time. This feels like a greatest hits of the old JLI team, in a good way. Villains who are more a danger to themselves than anything else being stopped by heroes who are more a danger to themselves than anything else. Guy Gardner is a jerk; Blue Beetle and Booster Gold are lovable doofuses. Martian Manhunter having to put up with them. If you are a fan of the old JLI, this is a worthy farewell. If you are not go die in a fire, if you can Satan spawn. JLI is one of my favorite comics, and all the characters from there a favorites of mine. Giffen and Dematteis say this is the last time they will write this crew. If so, that is sad, because we will never get anymore, but this is also a nice goodbye. I loved it. *****

  • Mystic 1 (of 4) G. Willow Wilson and David Lopez.

This is a really good comic. It is a steampunk Charles Dickens story. Two young orphan women who slave away at the orphanage where they were raised spend as much time as possible sneaking in to the library to study, in the knowing unachievable goal of being accepted as apprentice magicians. When they must leave the orphanage, they end up as maids in the castle. The art is cartoony, expressive, and just really damn good. Wilson establishes the characters and the world without losing sight of the actual story, something most writers fail to do. The friendship is poised to shatter because one’s dream was denied and given to the other. This is really good. ****½.

  • Spider-Island: Cloak and Dagger 1 (of 3). Nick Spencer and Emma Rios.

Rios’ art is great. There is really nothing else to say about that. Spenser’s writing is not quite as great. It is not bad, this comic does a good job of setting up who Cloak and Dagger are and the problems they face, but it feels hollow. The dueling thought boxes work well, except when the work in tandem. Most of the issue the two heroes seem to be on completely different pages, but sometimes they are basically finishing each other’s sentences. It just sort of shifts back and forth. I’m still interested in the rest of the mini; hopefully with the explanation of whom these characters are out of the way we can get to something substantive. **1/2

Flashpoint:

  • World of Flashpoint 3 **
  • Frankenstein and the Creatures of the Unknown 3 **1/2
  • Deathstroke and the Curse of the Ravager 3. ***

I’ll lump these together. Not because they are all equally good, Frankenstein is a good deal better than the others are, but because these are three Flashpoint minis that no one seems to be talking about. There is a good deal about how great Batman: Knight of Vengeance and Project Superman are and how terrible all the books about the Aquaman/Wonder Woman war are. While I do not disagree with that, these three were also pretty good. They are also the only three Flashpoint tie-ins, as far as I can tell, that had happy endings. World of Flashpoint is easily the weakest of the three. It follows young witch/magician/whatever Traci 13 as she teleports around the Flashpoint universe looking for help to stop her dad from nuking Europe in the hopes of saving the world. This gives her the knowledge to combat her grief-crazed father and save the world. In the end, both Traci and her father lose their magical powers and walk off to rebuild their lives. The art is somewhat bad and the dialogue is spotty, but it is a fairly enjoyable comic.
Deathstroke and the Curse of the Ravager ends the saga of pirate Deathstroke. His crew, upset with how little profit there seems to be in their current path, mutinies against Slade and his new partner — in more ways than one — Jenny Blitz. So they kill all the mutineers while the mutineers kill everyone else, leaving just Slade and Jenny. Slade finally finds his daughter Rose being held captive by yet more pirates. So they kill them too, leaving a happy family amidst the wreckage. It had to end this way, but it actually manages to be a spot touching.
Frankenstein and the Creatures of the Unknown is a comic with crew consisting of Frankenstein and his bride, a werewolf, a vampire and a creature from the Black Lagoon who try to escape killer government robots by going to Transylvania. There they find a village of monster men, all slaughter by the robots that beat them there. So while the creature and the werewolf, as well as their one human friend, try to find the scientist who created them so they can cure the werewolf’s debilitating lycanthropy, Frankenstein and the rest fight the robots. They win, and the former werewolf and creature settle down to live a long happy life, Frankenstein and his bride ride off into the sunset to save the day again. It tries to fit in too many ideas for the amount of pages available, but when the ideas are that great it is hard to fault them.

Really Quick Reviews:

  • Green Lantern Emerald Warriors 13 ***. Guy and Bats solve a locked room mystery on a space station. A very nice done-in-one.
  • Jonah Hex 70 ***½. Terrific Sook art and a thoughtful end to a very good five year run on Hex.
  • Superboy 11 ****. A fine end to a fine comic. It hints at all the great things this comic could have been had it continued. One of the real tragic losses of the relaunch.
  • Supergirl 67 ***. The only real flaw is the yucky faces. Snappy dialogue, I wish DeConnick had more time on the title.

NFL Preview

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So here comes the NFL season tomorrow. The lockout threatened to derail it, but neither side was stupid enough to let that happen. (I wouldn’t put anything past the owner’s greed.) Thanks to the lockout, though, all the dropping and signing and injuring that usually goes on over the summer was condensed into one month before the season began. That, combined with my wholly rational aversion to stupid worthless preseason games, has left me not quite able to absorb all the roster changes and junk that alters the NFL landscape from season to season. For example, I found out yesterday that Bob Sanders is a Charger (and in the time, it took me to type that he got hurt).

But just like all the analysts on TV, I’m not going to let a lack of knowledge keep me from commenting. Or making predictions. So every week — possible as part of a return of my weekly wrap up rambley bits — I will pick the winners of every game, as well as keep an embarrassing tally of how I am doing. Today, aside from picking this weekend’s games, I am going to make general predictions on how each division will end up.

AFC

AFC East

  1. New England Patriots. 12-4
  2. New York Jets. 10-6
  3. Miami Dolphins. 7-9
  4. Buffalo Bills. 5-11

I hate to pick the Pats, but I don’t think the Jets are actually getting better — prove me wrong, Mark Sanchez — and neither the Bills or the Dolphins look good. I expect neither team to be terrible, but they don’t have QBs or defenses good enough to get them to the playoff.

AFC South.

  1. Pittsburgh Steelers. 12-4
  2. Baltimore Ravens. 11-5
  3. Cleveland Browns. 6-10
  4. Cincinnati Bengals. 3-13

The Bengals blew up this off-season and are going to look like it. I expect the Browns to improve, but not enough to challenge the top 2 teams. It will come down to the Ravens and Steelers again and I expect the Steelers to continue to be slightly better, despite being last year’s Super Bowl loser.

AFC North.

  1. Indianapolis Colts. 10-6
  2. Houston Texans. 9-7
  3. Tennessee Titans. 6-10
  4. Jacksonville Jaguars. 5-11

Even if Peyton misses the first quarter of the season, the Colts win this weakened division. The Titans are significantly overhauled, but I don’t think they are better. Although if Hasselbeck stays healthy who knows. The Texans will under perform; it’s what they do. And the Jags have no idea what to do with quarterbacks and decided to implode the whole season. Enjoy the Blaine Gabbert era until Del Rio feels the heat again and axes him. Look, Jags management, he is willing to take radical, destructive steps to appear to improve the team and keep his job.

AFC West.

  1. Oakland Raiders. 10-6
  2. San Diego Chargers. 8-8
  3. Kansas City Chiefs. 7-9
  4. Denver Broncos. 4-12

Denver has little, and will do little, but they are rebuilding. The Chiefs feasted on an easy schedule last year, but didn’t get better in the off-season. So unless they find a 2nd receiver they’ll come up short. Who does less with more than Norv Turner does? No one. Chargers are a talented but sinking ship. The Raiders should have won the division last year, and now have a good head coach. I’ll roll the dice with them

NFC

NFC East.

  1. Philadelphia Eagles. 11-5
  2. Dallas Cowboys. 9-7
  3. New York Giants. 9-7
  4. Washington Redskins. 4-12

The Eagles won’t be quite as good as people are expecting, but they will be good. The Giants and Cowboys will be kind of good, but probably not great. Either could get that last playoff spot, though. The Redskins will continue to be in disarray. They are starting Rex Grossman, for crying out loud!

NFC South.

  1. New Orleans Saints. 11-5
  2. Tampa Bay Buccaneers. 10-6
  3. Atlanta Falcons. 10-6
  4. Carolina Panthers. 3-13

The Panthers are going with Newton and will be crushed, though their running game will win them a few. The Bucs are rising and might make the playoffs. The Falcons feel like they have Super Bowl talent, and maybe they do. Or maybe I just want to see Tony Gonzalez get a ring. If Drew Brees stays healthy, the Saints are still the team to beat.

NFC North.

  1. Green Bay Packers. 13-3
  2. Minnesota Vikings. 10-6
  3. Detroit Lions. 8-8
  4. Chicago Bears. 7-9

This is a tough division to handy cap. The Packers will still be great. The Lions actually appear to be improving. The Bears will falter slightly. I’m putting the Vikings at number 2 because I have faith in Donovan McNabb. They still have Peterson, if they field a good defense, McNabb should be enough to get them into the playoffs.

NFC West.

  1. Arizona Cardinals. 10-6
  2. St. Louis Rams. 7-9
  3. Seattle Seahawks. 5-11
  4. San Francisco 49ers. 5-11

Kolb is enough of an improvement for the Cardinals to win the division. Bradford suffers a bit of a sophomore slump. The 49ers have Frank Gore and little else and the Seahawks traded Matt Hasselbeck for Tavaris Jackson at QB, that’s a major downgrade. The whole division is still kind of terrible.

Wild Cards:
AFC: Ravens, Jets.
NFC: Vikings, Falcons

Championship Games:

AFC: Colts over Steelers. (Known as picking with my heart, not my head)
NFC: Falcons over Eagles.

Super Bowl:

Colts over Falcons.

This week:

  • Packers over Saints, 27-20
  • Ravens over Steelers, 17-13
  • Bears over Falcons, 23-20
  • Browns over Bengals, 27-14
  • Colts over Texans, 24-21 (Crazy like a fox)
  • Titans over Jaguars, 17-14
  • Chiefs over Bills, 27-17
  • Eagles over Rams, 31-24
  • Bucs over Lions, 21-17
  • Cardinals over Panthers, 31-10
  • Vikings over Chargers, 31-28
  • Seahawks over 49ers, 23-21
  • Giants over Redskins, 31-28
  • Jets over Cowboys, 20-10
  • Pats over Dolphins, 31-17
  • Raiders over Broncos, 24-10

Summer Movie Review and More

/ skoce / Leave a comment

By my figuring, Conan the Barbarian seems to be the last blockbuster (or attempted blockbuster) movie of Summer 2011. I am taking it upon myself to look back on all that I saw in theaters and decide if it was a good year for summer movies. I’ll start with my conclusion: this was a pretty great summer for movies.

I saw ten films this summer, starting with Thor (I know that wasn’t really summer, but close enough) and ending with Conan. If those ten I enjoyed nine of them and genuinely liked seven. Ten movies in a year is a lot for me. Ten in a summer is borderline crazy. Crazier still is that there are several movies I would have liked to have seen but was not able to. So first I will rank the ten movies I saw in order from least good to most good with a sentence or two explanation and linked to my review. Then I am going to list five movies I missed, again with a sentence or two explanation. Laslty, I am going to point out a few movies I want to see over the rest of the year.

10. Cowboys and Aliens. Terrible, just fucking terrible.
9. Conan the Barbarian. Boobs and Blood, but it doesn’t quite come together.
8. Green Lantern. A huge disappointment, but still mostly competent.
7. Horrible Bosses. Hilarious, but largely forgettable.
6. X-Men: First Class. Really good until the ambiguous ending for both groups of mutants but unambiguous for the Nazi monsters that are the rest of humanity.
5. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. Potter ends with a bang.
4. Thor. A terrific sci-fi/fantasy/superhero mash-up. I love Thor.
3. Captain America. A superhero movie on the level of Dark Knight and Iron Man.
2. Winnie the Pooh. A near perfect animated kids movie.
1. Super 8. A film just as nostalgic for the 80’s as I am.

From Horrible Bosses up those are all movies I would like to own on DVD. Even Green Lantern and Conan could get me on the clearance aisle. Fuck Cowboys and Aliens.

Now for the movies I missed.

  • Transformers 3. I skipped this, not missed it. It is apparently less of a humongous turd than the last one, but no matter the size I don’t want someone to shit on my face.
  • Pirates of the Caribbean 4. I actually wanted to see this, as I heard it had jettisoned most of the crappy baggage from the last 2. I’ve heard I didn’t miss much.
  • Cars 2. Bad reviews or not, it is a Pixar movie. Of course I wanted to see it.
  • Rise of the Planet of the Apes. I’m only listing this because I heard it was good. It did not look so to me.
  • Bridesmaids. It looks like a chick comedy, but I’ve heard good things about it.

As for the rest of the year, this is a hard list to make. These are movies I actually hope to see and due to my fairly remote location it is possible that movies that sound interesting will not show up at a cinema near me. (I had to drive nearly 100 miles to see Scott Pilgrim!) These are the ones that seem likely to widely available.

  • Moneyball. I’m not the biggest baseball fan, but I love sports movies and Brad Pitt is always entertaining.
  • Killer Elite. Jason Statham versus Clive Owen for the love life of Robery De Niro? Sign me up.
  • The Big Year. Owen Wilson, Jack Black and Steve Martin are all guys I like. Sounds good to me.
  • The Three Musketeers. The trailer has airships and hand cranked flamethrowers. I’m in.
  • Immortals. I have a soft spot for Greek mythology. This could be anything, but I’m interested.
  • J. Edgar. It’s Clint Eastwood.
  • The Muppets. It’s the Muppets.
  • Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. The gang is back for round two. Sure, I’ll bite.
  • Mission Impossible – Ghost Protocol. Brad Bird directs, that’s good. And Simon Pegg is in the cast. Sounds good to me.
  • The Adventures of Tintin. Spielberg, Edgar Wright and Peter Jackson are involved. I’m in the seats.
Yeah, it should be a good fall for movies as well.

 

Conan the Barbarian Review

/ skoce / 2 Comments

The new Conan the Barbarian movie does a lot of things right. It is a perfectly trashy, lurid, vulgar low fantasy. The movie makes no pretense of being anything else. It captures the look and feel and taste of that sort of pulp fantasy. Which makes the problems with the film a bit more devastating than they should be. There are two major flaws to Conan the Barbarian, and they nearly, but not quite sink the whole movie. Continue reading →