What I Read March 2016

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I read the usual four books in March. I haven’t had the time I’d like to stay on my reading lately, but I think I can still keep up this pace.

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Bossypants

Tina Fey

Tina Fey is a very funny woman. I absolutely loved 30 Rock and her movies with Amy Poehler are mostly really good. This book translates that into to prose form. It works. It is a comedic series of anecdotes telling stories from Fey’s life if not her life story. She tells how she got into the comedy and theater, how she became a writer, then sometimes performer on SNL to 30 Rock. It is clearly written in the same voice that permeated her time on Weekend Update and 30 Rock. I don’t know what else to say that doesn’t harm the reading of a comedy book. It is good stuff.

tmm

The Master Magician

Charlie N Holmberg

The third in Charlie Holmberg’s Paper Magician series.  Like the previous two, I liked it, but I do have some problems with it.  Mostly that none of these books have much in the way of a middle.  The Master Magician sets the table with a good beginning, before hurtling past all the story possibilities raised to get to its conclusion. It is still a fun ride, and Ceony is a really great main character. Holmberg does an excellent job setting up an interesting world and magical system, but it just doesn’t feel like there is enough space to explore it satisfactorily.

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The Princess Bride

William Goldman

I have frequently called this my favorite book ever. Somedays it is. It has been overshadowed by the excellent film version, but the book still has plenty to offer. It works an amazing trick of containing the same events, plus or minus a Zoo of Death, with a lot of the same fun adventurous tone that still manages to have the complete opposite outlook. The movie is a sweeping tale of love and adventure, the book is a tale about how love and adventure are futile and end terribly. It is a similar experience but with completely different conclusions. It is also very funny. Read it sometime.

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Royal Chaos

Dan McGirt

Comedy writing is hard and there is nothing quite as painful as bad “funny” writing. Royal Chaos is nothing but that. It tries to be a humorous take on generic fantasy tropes, it ends up being an excruciatingly unfunny march through all the stuff people hate about fantasy novels. Royal Chaos is the second book of what I guess was a trilogy about Jason Cosmo, some dude who ends being or being mistaken for the hero of legend. After his wizard pal’s fiancé is murdered, they team up to get revenge. There is nothing more to it than that. It reads like a novelized version of someone’s D&D game, with all of their funny jokes included. Except you’re not reading it with your gaming buddies while you knock back a few a beers and this stuff isn’t funny on its own. I bought this book because I thought the cover looked funny in a bad way. This is a case where you can judge a book by its cover, because the insides reflect the outsides. It is goofy, but not particularly well-done.

Now Playing in March 2016

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I didn’t play much besides Fire Emblem in March. That and Ace Attorney. I just didn’t make time to play much. Honestly, my interest in new games keeps dropping lower. I still feel little desire to pick up a new system, being more content to go down with the WiiU ship and reassess my commitment to this hobby once game for it and the 3DS dry up.

Beaten

Fire Emblem Fate: Conquest – read about it here.

Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations – read about it here.

R-Type III – Read about it here.

Ongoing

Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess –

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I just played through this last year, so while I jumped on the HD remake, I was not quite as eager to play it. Still, arguing on the internet got me to fire it to see just how slow the opening section is. It’s not that slow. It doesn’t rush, but the game builds its world with care and gives the player interesting things to do for about 45 minutes before the action starts in earnest. I’ll get to the rest of the game before too long, but for now that taste was enough to sate me.

Bravely Second Demo – The Bravely Second demo shows what the game is: more Bravely Default. As someone who liked the first game just fine, that sounds great. I hope the end of the game doesn’t fall apart quite as much, but this demo shows that it kept most of the good parts around. I can’t wait for the full game.

Return to Popolocrois –

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I’ve only barely cleared the intro, but it is about what I expected. It is really low key and charming. It doesn’t make for a pressing, compelling experience, but it is certainly relaxing. At some point I will write this game up, but it might be some time because I am not going to rush through it.

Trails in the Sky – The more I play this game the more it seems like something I should like, but for some reason I just don’t. I can’t quite put my finger on it, and things aren’t helped by the fact that my PSP always seems to be dead. I will push on through and finish up in April.

Lufia and the Fortress of Doom – read about it here.

Super Mario RPG – I’ve made it about halfway through this and it’s been an amazing experience so far. It is very much a product of 16-bit era Squaresoft and I forgotten how well they had master role playing games on the SNES. I don’t think it captures the Mario experience as well as later Mario RPGs nor is it as good as Square’s best on the system, but it is close enough to both that it is just wonderful.

Upcoming

Bravely Second – I am getting kind of RPGed out, but I am glad we are seeing this game. The first game was great until about the third time through it, so hopefully they change the structure some, but I am up for another romp with these mechanics.

Enslaved Journey to the West – I’ve got this downloaded on my PS3 and I’ve already played the intro, but I will start it in earnest next month some time. I hope it lives up to the praises some friends of mine have sung for it.

Star Fox 0 – I am equally dreading and anticipating this game. I love Star Fox 64, but I don’t really care for any other game in the series. I guess the two Gamecube games weren’t horrible, but I kind of hated the DS game. This series feels in many ways like Nintendo’s Sonic the Hedgehog. It was great once, but they don’t know how to evolve the series to keep it relevant. At least this one seems to actually just be the stuff people want out of Star Fox.

Magical Quest Starring Mickey Mouse – Another SNES game I’ve never played. The 16-bit Mickey games seem to be rather well-regarded, but I’ve never touched them. I don’t expect it to take me long to get through it. I’ll get on it right after I finish Super Mario RPG.

What I Watched in March 2016

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I saw a lot of movies in March, I don’t expect that to be repeated in April. For one thing, I am running out of unwatched DVDs to toss in and finally clear off my list. For another, I’m feeling a little burnt out. There will likely be an uptick in TV entries, though, with new seasons of Trailer Park Boys and Bob’s Burgers hitting Netflix, and my resolve to start clearing out the TV portion of Netflix queue. I will have more to say about some of the stuff here. Once their seasons end I am going to do a round-up of this year’s superhero shows. And once I watch Life Aquatic and Bottle Rocket, the last two Wes Anderson movies I haven’t seen, I’ll want to write up something about his work.

Movies

  • Whiskey Tango Foxtrot – read my review here. ***
  • Blade Runner – This movie is great. I don’t know how I hadn’t seen it until last month. I saw, I believe, the theatrical version; whichever one was on Netflix. The voiceover doesn’t quite work sometimes, but the rest is comfortably excellent. It is one of the greatest true science fiction movies. *****
  • The Eagle – A somewhat labored story about a Roman legionnaire’s quest to redeem his family name. It is just another example of movie in which Jamie Bell is the best part of something that is otherwise mediocre. **1/2
  • Justice League War – read my review here. **
  • Man Up – A fun little romantic comedy starring Simon Pegg and Lake Bell. Bell’s character takes the place of a woman who is supposed to be meeting Pegg’s for a blind date. From there things proceed just about how you’d expect them to. Still, it is well executed and funny, largely thanks to the likeability of both Pegg and Bell. Definitely worth a look on Netflix. ***1/2
  • Moonrise Kingdom – I watched a ton of Wes Anderson movies this month, starting with this one. It is his usual idiosyncratic style focused on a much younger set of protagonists. The intense stylization works well recreating the slight unreality of childhood. Movies about children often rest on the shaky acting performances of children, but the two stars of this one do great. The subject matter here is a great fit for Anderson’s style. *****
  • Grand Budapest Hotel – another Wes Anderson movie that has a setting the perfectly fits his visual style. A Hotel Concierge inherits a valuable painting from a wealthy patron and must fend off a murderous relative of hers to claim what is his, all set against the backdrop of the start of the second world war. It is playfully, yet dark at times. Really, just a stupendously entertaining film. *****
  • Justice League: The Flashpoint Paradox – read my review here. **
  • Kung Fury – A delightful little experiment in how much craziness someone could shove into 30 minutes. It is high weird, but fortunately it doesn’t overstay it’s welcome. To those with the right sensibility it is hilarious. ****1/2
  • Turbo Kid – This operates along a similar premise to Kung Fury, but it is actually a good movie on top of being a spot on pastiche of the stuff like Mad Max. It wears its inspiration on its sleeves, but underneath the jokey premise and absurd gore is the core of a very good movie. *****
  • Son of Batman – read my review here. ***
  • Killing them Softly – A brutal takedown of the American spirit, as expressed by our love of Capitalism. This is a movie about bad people doing bad things. But most of them do it with a quiet dispassion that makes it all the more awful. ***
  • Bronson – A pitch black look at the mind of a criminal. I didn’t like it. There is no story here, just the vile acts of a vile man. **
  • In the Name of the King – Dear God this movie is terrible. It is full of people who wanted some of that LotR money (Or who got it, John Rhys Davies) but made by someone with no clue how to tell a story. It is comically terrible throughout, with little or no attempt made to be anything other than complete, unrepentant shit. 1/2
  • American Hustle – Great movie. The all-star cast really plays off each other well. Bale and Adams play small time grifters who get caught up in an FBI sting that keeps getting bigger and bigger until it gets completely out of hand. It moves from catching a Mayor to congressmen to the mob, and the protagonists are just trying to find a way to extricate themselves. It is great. *****
  • Kingdom of Dreams and Madness – This isn’t something that would normally be up my alley, a nearly two hour long foreign language documentary, but I am a big fan of studio Ghibli and it is all but impossible for me to pass up. It is full of insight into how they do their business. Knowing that the studio is currently winding down production makes this all the more touching. This is just a great look into the workings of maybe the best animation studio to ever exist. ****
  • Enemy at the Gates – This is a highly uneven movie. There are some truly great scenes, but there is also some generic crap mixed in. I loved most of the sniper fights. They were tense and riveting. On the other hand, the love triangle and romance were poorly done. It makes for an uneven but not unenjoyable viewing experience. ***
  • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice – read review here. ***
  • Rushmore – Anderson again, this time dealing with the difficulty of growing up. In it a student falls for an elementary school teacher and ends up competing for her affections with a disillusioned businessman. Things end up getting kind of nasty before it ends, but it is ultimately a story about growth. *****
  • The Darjeeling Limited – this is widely considered one of Anderson’s lesser films, and I can see that, but the interplay between the three central brothers in the movie rings very true to me. It is much like how my brother’s and I get along when we haven’t been together for some time. It does kind of meander and not really get anywhere, but it is an enjoyable trip. *****

TV

  • Daredevil S2 – I was initially wowed by the first season of Daredevil, but I cooled on the show considerably before it ended. I still came out with largely positive feelings, but gore and violence got to me. And its utter self-seriousness. This is a TV show about a blind ninja lawyer who fights crime; there is room for levity. These are all problems that the second season could have and looked to fix, but it didn’t. The gore was, if anything, even worse. I tapped out during The Punisher’s prison fight and stopped watching the show for more than a week. Despite adding a host of downright silly elements, like warring ninja factions and reviving ninja magic, the show still treated every element with the utmost seriousness. The parts of the first season that were unimpeachably good, like the strong plotting, were lost. The last few episodes of this were nonsense that barely even attempted to pull the various plotlines this season set up together for a conclusion. Maybe the biggest problem is that Matt became the least interesting, most static character on the show. Everyone around him is growing and changing, but he is stuck where he is. With its second season, the show lost both me and its main character.
  • Poirot S10 – Another month, another series of Poirot finished. This one had an episode with Michael Fassbender, which was a highlight. I don’t really have anything new to say about this show. It is well-made but largely unexciting. I’ll finish up the last few series shortly.
  • Broadchurch S2 – The first season was a gripping murder mystery, this season spent its time tearing everything the first season built up to down. It ends up being largely unsatisfying. The court stuff mostly seems like an excuse to wallow in misery, something even the first season was prone to do but it was especially bad here. The other half of the season had the two stars looking back into the murder that Det. Hardy supposedly messed up before the first series. That portion of the show mostly works, though it does have some ridiculous twists.
  • Flash – Only two episodes this month, and they were fine. Nothing too mind blowing in either of them, but still solidly entertaining hours for the show. The first one had the team coming to the realization that Jay was Zoom all along and the second has another attempt by Barry to learn to go faster with time travel. They do skirt around the rules of time travel, but both episodes work. Now it’s another two week break before the show comes back for its last half dozen episodes.
  • Arrow – Two good episodes of the show this month, despite dealing with a frustrating plot twist in the break-up of Oliver and Felicity. This show has pivoted into being more like the Flash this season and the results have largely been good even if it has been uneven.
  • Legends of Tomorrow – The March episodes of this were strong; it really felt like the show finding somewhat stronger footing. They fought time pirates and the league of assassins. There are still flaws, Vandal Savage has never lived up to his potential and characters keep getting lost in the shuffle, but it is still more entertaining than not.
  • Supergirl – After the series low point in in Solitude, the last three episodes have been really strong. The little too quick fall of Siobhan Smythe was actually a fun bit and the status quo has been shaken up in a good way. The real highlight was Worlds’ Finest, the crossover episode with the Flash, which didn’t do a lot with its villains but was otherwise completely delightful. This show still hasn’t been picked up for another season and it will be a damn crime if its not.

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice

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bvsp

DC Comics and Warner Brothers’ second step in setting up a universe of superhero movies to rival Marvel’s hit theaters this weekend to big buck and vitriolic reviews. Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is a messy, bloated epic that occasionally struggles with coherence. It is a movie that seems simultaneously designed to appeal to and piss off fanboys. It somehow feels cut to the bone and a half hour too long. It is both contemplative and thoughtful and a big dumb action movie. Batman v Superman is at least two different movies jammed together. I don’t really understand why I like it so much. Despite its numerous and glaring flaws, Batman v Superman remains highly entertaining.

BvS stars Ben Affleck as Batman and Henry Cavill as Superman. During the climactic showdown in Man of Steel, Wayne Tower in Metropolis was destroyed. Bruce blames this on Superman. Meanwhile, an attempt by Lois Lane to get an interview with an African warlord becomes an international incident, with again Superman taking the blame. While Batman searches for a weapon to use against Superman and Superman deals with an increasingly fraught political situation, Lex Luthor plots behind the scenes to make use of his newly discovered Kryptonite and to get control of General Zod’s remains. These threads, and a few more, move at a breakneck pace until it comes to the inevitable confrontation between the title characters and from there expands into another city stomping fight scene.

Whether you find them good or bad, there is no question that the performances in the film are memorable. Jesse Eisenburg play’s Lex as a coked out hipster CEO, with odd verbal ticks and barely contained smugness and disdain for all around him. It is the first instance of a live action Luthor that genuinely feels like a threat. Affleck’s Batman is bulky and driven, with his Bruce persona and Batman persona more similar that previous versions. The one drawing the bulk of the criticism is Henry Cavill’s Superman, who doesn’t get enough to do in the movie and who many viewers seem to be deliberately misinterpreting. He is stoic, but with even the slightest amount of charity it the closest any film has come to the Superman I grew up with. All of the primary roles are distinctive takes on very well know characters. They don’t work all the time, but they aren’t easy to forget either.

To its detriment, BvS trusts its audience and expects a lot from them. Yes, they use the opening credits to once again show Batman’s origin, but for the most part this movie expects the viewers to know who its characters are. The movie doesn’t quite work if the viewer is not already at least somewhat familiar with them. Considering how strongly ingrained Superman, Batman and Lex Luthor are in the pop culture consciousness, that is not an unreasonable expectation. But people aren’t familiar with these versions of those characters, and it makes it hard to read some scenes. Knowing how Batman should act is essential to understanding that he is not acting normally. Which he isn’t for most of the movie. But the movie has never shown that normal, it just expects the viewer to know it. Just like it expects the viewer to know who Superman is and what he does, because it certainly can’t spare more than a few minutes to show it. The fact that the movie never gives Lex Luthor a reason for hating Superman. To me that is a ridiculous complaint; he is Lex Luthor, hating Superman is what he does. The movie is not interested in explaining any of this, but it expects it to be understood. While some of it should be, BvS takes it too far. Some establishment of normal is necessary to contrast when thing change. A few lines from Alfred and talking heads on TVs don’t cut it. That is the most substantial problem with the movie.

The actual plot as it unfolds it fine. It tries to pose some substantial questions about right and wrong, about the effects of a Godlike being appearing in our midst, both those effects on us and the effects on that being, but it never really finishes making its case, instead getting sidetracked by CG spectacle and awkward attempts to set up future DC comics movies.

There is no getting around that, much like its title, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice is an awkward mess. But the more I think about it, the more I like it. Also, while it may be just the contrarian in me, I find the more vitriol I see spewed at this movie the more I like it. It is flawed. It skips by important plot points to save time for Wonder Woman essentially watching youtube videos. The first half seems to be completely devoid of establishing shots. It all but assumes a movie between it and Man of Steel where Superman actually does Superman stuff. But for all those problems, and more, I couldn’t help but enjoy it. It attempts to wrestle with weighty themes. It wants to be something more than Marvel’s slick popcorn fair. BvS never quite gets there, but the ambition is refreshing.

***

25 Years 25 Games #7: R-Type III

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I’m not going to lie to you and say that I legit beat R-Type III. I am pretty crappy at shmups and R-Type III is dang tough. Still, I persevered and exploited the crap out of saves states to see all that the game has to offer. Even that way it wasn’t easy. Difficulty aside, there is a lot to like about this game.

One thing that stands out about this game is that it is designed for the SNES. R-Type III is not, like many shmups, based on an arcade game. The SNES tended to struggle with those, chugging along with massive slowdown. That was usually caused by all the moving sprites on the screen. The SNES just wasn’t fast enough. R-Type III, though, was designed around the limitations of the system. It has larger but relatively few obstacles and moves along a something of a slow pace anyway. The end result is a game that both looks good and plays good. Those large obstacles tend to be big, lush sprites. And the slower pace lets the player always feel in control.

Another thing that makes R-Type III stand out is its level design. Most shmups I’ve played (and let me be clear that I am far from an expert) would feature some background hazards and mostly a lot of enemies the same size as the player’s ship to deal with. R-Type III is all about the levels. It gives the whole game something of a puzzle feel. Using the SNES’s special mode 7 rotating effects, among other tricks, the game’s environments become the highlights. They rotate around player and change dynamically as the player progress. Foreknowledge isn’t exactly required, but big portions are reliant on know where to be. The first level starts with a highlight, the player fighting a big mech that crashes into the background. It gives the game a distinct feel, much like Super Castlevania 4 and its use of similar effects. It isn’t perfect, though. While they look great, the moving backgrounds can really make the game feel cramped.

It does have plenty of replay value. The big upgrade tool on the R-Type series is the force pod, a pod that sits at the front or back of the player’s ship and fires for them. R-Type III has three different types of Force Pods, chosen at the beginning of the game. They have different uses for the three kinds of weapon upgrades the player can get. None are strictly better than the others (or at least I am not skilled enough to tell which are better) but some are better in certain situations. You can also move the pod from the front of the ship to the back, changing the direction your powerful shots go. It again make for a slightly more strategic take than the usual pure twitchiness of a shmup.

There is just no getting around that difficulty. Without abusing save states I doubt I could have cleared the second stage. The game is quite short, so the difficulty helps to keep interest in a game the otherwise be just a blip. The SNES isn’t exactly known for its shmups, that once important genre was better served on the Genesis and TG16, but R-Type III is an excellent, exclusive title for the system. It is just the kind of game I am doing this project to experience.

Summer Movie Preview

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I know it is still the middle of spring, but the first summer popcorn movie opens this week and that means it is time for my yearly Summer Movie Preview. As usual, I spent the better part of an hour trolling movie sites (imdb.com and boxofficemojo.com) to find the movies that I am excited to see this summer. To keep things interesting, I’ve also included some that are just the opposite; they are the movie that I have no intention of seeing and am appalled or disgusted by. I’ve got them on here in release order, with a few thoughts about each film and the likelihood of my seeing it (Certainly, Likely, Unlikely or Fat Chance). So what is on the docket for 2016? Let’s find out.

  • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice – Some rumblings about WB’s nervousness and that first tone deaf trailer aside, I am pretty pumped to see this tonight. I am an easy sell for Superman and while I wasn’t enthralled with Snyder’s first take on the character I have (probably delusional) hopes for this one. March 25 Certainly.
  • The Jungle Book – It has an all-star cast and doesn’t look too shabby, but I wonder if this live action version will have anything to add to Disney’s animated classic. That worry really only comes to mind since this is clearly a live action take on that specific version of the story. Favreau is directing and he’s got some good films under his belt. I’ll give it a look. April 15 Likely.
  • The Huntsman: Winter’s War – The first movie, Snow White and the Huntsman, was surprisingly good. It had the feeling of an 80’s fantasy movie more than one of LotR’s progeny. I have no idea what to make of this sequel, but I am intrigued. Especially by the cast. Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth, Jessica Chastain and Emily Blunt. April 22 Likely.
  • Keanu – Key and Peele doing a movie about two guys trying to save their kitten from gangsters? Yeah, I’m in. April 22 Likely.
  • Ratchet & Clank – This is a video game adaptation, so precedence suggests it will crap, but the games tend to be really fun and funny, with a set up that translates pretty easily to the big screen. I’m holding out hope for this. April 29 Likely.
  • Captain America: Civil War – This looks good. Avengers Age of Ultron was initially pleasing, but it felt bloated and unfocused, so hopefully this one is more cohesive and satisfying. It should be, the last Captain America movie was the best Marvel film yet. May 6 Certainly.
  • The Nice Guys – I was sold on this one, starring Ryan Gosling and Russel Crowe as PIs, with the trailer I saw before Hail, Caesar! It looks to be really fun and I hope it doesn’t get lost in the summer shuffle. May 20 Certainly.
  • Alice Through the Looking Glass – I know the first live action Alice in Wonderland made a ton of money, but did anyone really want a sequel? A sequel not directed by Tim Burton? I don’t know, this does not sound particularly promising. But it is worth at least paying a little attention to given the massive success of the first one. May 27 Unlikely
  • X-Men: Apocalypse – The last X-Men movie was the best yet, hopefully this one can continue the trend. It does return a lot of the most famous X-Men to the team and is looking pretty good. Maybe this take on the core X-Men team will be more faithful and interesting than the first pass, even without Wolverine. May 27 Certainly.
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows – Holy shit does this look terrible. The previous movie was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen in a theater. This one brings in a lot of fan favorite stuff from the cartoon, but it looks to be as much as a miserable piece of shit as the first one. June 3 Fat Chance.
  • Warcraft – I haven’t been a fan of this series since Warcaft 2 way back in the day, but I am a fan of cheesy fantasy movies I am somewhat intrigued. The trailer doesn’t look that good; it looks like a bad cartoon. John Carter did giant green men better a few years ago. Still, this could be a lot of fun. Normally I’d be on the fence with something like this, but the rest of June is a wasteland, so I’ll probably end up there. June 10 Likely.
  • Finding Dory – A sequel to the Pixar movie that I seem to like less than anyone else, starring the character that is the biggest reason I didn’t really like it. It sounds like we’ve got another Cars 2 on our hands. Still, I trust Pixar despite their one miss so far. I’ll be there. June 17 Likely.
  • Independence Day – Another sequel, this time to a movie that was never good in the first place and missing the one thing people would actually want to see come back. I really don’t know what the point of this sequel is. Does anyone actually want it? I can’t say that I do, but the trailer seemed to excite some people. June 24 Fat Chance.
  • The BFG – Steven Spielberg directing a Roald Dahl adaptation? Sounds good to me. The worst we could expect is what, Hook? I’d take that. I don’t know enough to be excited, but I like Spielberg. July 1 Likely.
  • The Legend of Tarzan – I am a sucker for Edgar Rice Burroughs and this is looking pretty solid. I like that it doesn’t appear to just be doing the original Tarzan story, which is the only one that anyone ever does. This should be interesting. July 1 Certainly.
  • Ghostbusters – This has a great cast and Ghostbusters has always been an excellent concept. Hopefully it brings something new to the table rather than just a remake of the first. As long as it has some of the charm it should have I am in. July 15 Likely.
  • Star Trek Beyond – The last Star Trek movie was dumb and an awkward retake on Wrath of Khan. I don’t know what to make of this one, other than it seems to keep not really being much like Star Trek. For all of its flaws, I kind of enjoyed Into Darkness. Of course, I don’t have much attachment to original Trek. July 22 Likely.
  • Jason Bourne – I’ve got to be perfectly honest, while they are exactly the sort of thing I should like, none of the Bourne movies have done anything for me. I want to like them, but they just sort of wash over me. Still, I am at least somewhat intrigued to see this, if only because it has an excellent cast. July 29 Likely.
  • Suicide Squad – This movie has a great concept and a great trailer. It is straight up a supervillain Dirty Dozen. While it might disappoint, it might also turn out something like Guardians of the Galaxy. I am really eager to see which way it goes. August 5 Certainly.
  • Pete’s Dragon – Why is there a remake of a 40 year old kids movie that wasn’t all that good to begin with? Maybe it could be good. August 12 Unlikely.
  • Kubo & the Two Strings – The previous highly intricate stop motion movies from these people have been good, but they have also all had a ghoulish bent that really doesn’t do anything for me. This one looks to be more of straightforward adventure, I really looking forward to a Laika movie that I can really enjoy. August 19 Likely

What movies did I miss? Disagree with me about any of these? Well, write me a comment. I know I skipped by a lot of comedies, but finding comedies that I expect to enjoy enough to see in theaters has been increasingly hard as I get old and humorless. It looks to be shaping up to be a lopsided summer, with a lot of good stuff in April and May, but almost nothing in June or August with an okay July wedged in there.

25 Years 25 Games #6: Lufia and the Fortress of Doom

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My goal was, and still is, to beat 25 SNES games to celebrate the 25th Anniversary of the SNES. But Lufia and the Fortress of Doom is proving to be quite the stumbling block. The SNES is known for its JRPGS and while I am intimately familiar with the cream of the system’s crop, I have never managed to spend much time with some of the genre’s second tier games. That is where, by most accounts, Lufia fits on the SNES hierarchy. RPGs tend to take a lot more time to complete than brawlers or platformers, but I thought I could space them out and keep the write-ups coming at a steady clip. Lufia is smashing that plan to pieces.

All pictures stolen from Hardcore Gaming 101

All pictures stolen from Hardcore Gaming 101

I have been playing Lufia off and on since the start of February. So far I have found it stultifying and dull. Part of that is because I have played the first few hours before, when I borrowed it for a week from a friend in grade school. The other is that other than the intro, there just isn’t anything interesting about the first five hours or so of Lufia. It plays like a checklist of all the usual JRPG tropes. Burned villages, mystery orphans, suddenly resurgent monsters, all the classics. When done right, those things can work. What it usually takes is strong writing. The Lunar games don’t stray far from cliché, but everything is done with enough charm that it works. The localization of Lufia is bland. There is little personality or reason to get invested in these characters or this world.

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That is not to say there aren’t some good ideas. The callous disregard for one destroyed kingdom kind of works, with people being more annoyed that legitimately concerned. Working with the princess because the King doesn’t care gives it something to work with. Too bad that results in the first hour and half consisting of running back and forth between two places, with almost no sense of progress.

The one outstanding part of the game so far is the opening. Lufia starts the player at the end of another story, setting the backstory by allowing the player to take control of the legendary heroes. That part works perfectly well. It is great to start with characters that are already supremely powerful; wiping the floor with what is essentially a final boss. It is also the only early story moment that manages much emotion. Even not knowing the four characters, seeing them have to make the sacrifice they do is powerful. Unfortunately, none of that is carried over into the rest of the game.

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So am giving up on Lufia halfway through. For now, anyway. I am simply moving it to the bottom of the list. If I get back to it great, if not too bad. When I do get back to it, I will do another write up, assuming I have anything new to say about it. I might not. If I want to finish this project, I need to keep moving. My list of games to play did include 26 or 27 just in case I proved incapable of beating one. For now, I am moving on from Lufia to Super Mario RPG and some kind of shooter, I haven’t decided yet.

Fire Emblem Fates: Conquest

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As soon as I finished up Fire Emblem Fates: Birthright I downloaded and started playing Conquest. After about three or four missions, I hit my limit on that unique to Fire Emblem blend of anguish, frustration and triumph and switched over to something else. I love Fire Emblem, but at a certain point I need to take some time to recharge. Coming back after that, I gained a greater appreciation for Conquest.

Honestly, the differences on the gameplay side between Conquest and Birthright were overblown. The lack of extra missions is a small loss; it is not like I took much advantage of that in Birthright. There are some differences, but the experiences are closer than they are different. The two biggest gameplay differences are what made Conquest the superior experience for me.

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The first is that it uses more traditional Fire Emblem character classes. Birthright threw me off with its changed up weapons and classes. Those changes were largely superficial, like calling axes clubs and the like, but it was enough to throw me off occasionally. Conquest sticking with Cavaliers and Knights instead of Samurai made everything just that much more comfortable for me. I do enjoy seeing Intelligent Systems change things up with the classes, but for a long time series veteran it was a barrier. The mixing of those different classes is what gives Fates its unique feel in the series, that the world is larger and more varied than the world of the previous games. Still, when it comes down to personal preference, I like the older stuff.

The other, more important difference is the variety of mission objectives. Birthright only has one type of mission, Rout the Enemy. You kill all the enemies on the map before they kill you. Conquest gets back to a more traditional Fire Emblem array of mission objectives. There are Kill the Boss missions, Survival missions, Escape, among others. That is where Conquest gains its complexity and maybe a slight decrease in difficulty. I might actually argue it makes things easier, having maps where a suicide run against a boss can end the whole mission rather than having to wipe out the army. Still, the variety makes for more interesting tactical decisions. Some units might be strictly better at killing enemies than others, but a survival mission adds greater importance to units that can tank, like Knights. When your only goal is to kill all the enemies, then a unit’s ability to kill becomes by far its most important skill. Having those other objectives really lets other units have a chance to shine. Of course, by the end of the game the difference is academic. Everything at that point can kill.

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Where the game falters, though, is with its characters. While their classes might be the usual, the characters that join up in Conquest are a strange lot. To me they are a not exactly appealing lot. That veneer of seediness that Nintendo’s localization team has done their paint over shines through here. These characters often seem deliberately created to appeal to certain subsections of the pervy otaku audience. From the overly suggestive, and frankly stupidly attired, Camilla, to the crassness of Nyx’s “I only look young” routine to whatever the fuck is going on with Charlotte. Even when they aren’t unsettling, the characters are just too weird for their own good. Maybe this was also true of Birthright’s cast, but since I didn’t have other ninjas or samurai to judge them against it was less noticeable, but I don’t think I’m coming out of Conquest with many additions to my list of favorite Fire Emblem characters, other than maybe the imports from Awakening.

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I still maintain that there really isn’t any sensible story related reason to side with Nohr at the choosing point, and playing Conquest hasn’t really changed that. The game jumps through some elaborate hoops to keep the player on the side of good while not disrupting his work for a murderous maniac. Neither game has an especially strong story, that is hopefully reserved for Revelations, but the one in Conquest has some truly absurd leaps of logic. Every character seems willing to acknowledge the problem of King Garon being a crazy murderer, but no one seems willing to even consider taking the steps needed to solve that problem. Or at least not the most direct one.

Still, the improvements to playability in Conquest give it a slight edge over Birthright in my book. I still think Nintendo and IS are crazy for essentially dumping three Fire Emblem games on the world at the same time, but with the video game industry slowly killing everything I love about video games, I’ll take a gift like this any way Nintendo wants to package it. Now it is time for another break before I tackle Revelations.

The Definitive Superhero Movie Rankings

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Batman v Superman hits at the end of the month and Captain America Civil War about a month later, kicking off another summer filled with comic book and superhero movies. Big differences of opinion of the merits of some superhero movies, especially Man of Steel, gave me the desire to rank all of the superhero movies that have come out since X-Men changed the game some 16 years ago. After much time and thought, as well as some rewatching, I have crafted a definitive ranking of live action superhero movies. Rankings were chosen by an expert panel of one person and they are objectively correct.

(Note, despite calling it definitive, there are a handful of movies I have never seen. Movies like the Blade sequels, a Punisher movie and the Ghost Rider movies. They are really not worth considering.)

47: Fantastic 4 (2015) – Just a complete and utter misfire. It has a great cast and some scenes that are actually pretty good on their own, but that just makes how bad the rest of it is all the more disappointing.

46: Catwoman – This one misses the point of the character in just about every way possible. The only reason I put it above F4 is that at least this one hilariously bad instead of infuriatingly bad.

45: Amazing Spider-Man 2 – I wasn’t a fan of the first Amazing Spider-Man, and this one doubled down on all of that movies problems and added some new ones. It couldn’t wait to do the famous Gwen Stacy scene and then didn’t in such a clownishly terrible way that sapped it of all effect.

44: X-Men Origins: Wolverine – To be fair to this film, the comics have never really presented a coherent origin for Wolverine either. Of course, none of those had wolverines howling at the moon or the single worst interpretation of Deadpool possible.

43: Elektra – This movie has its heart in the right place, but it just wasn’t any good.

42: The Punisher – I watched this recently. It is bad and dumb, with a really unappealing combination of slapstick violence and ineffective attempts at real darkness.

41: X-Men: The Last Stand – I had to fight with myself to not put this movie much higher. It’s bad, really bad, but I still kind of love it anyway. Kelsey Grammar as Beast is a great casting choice. Too bad just about everything else is nonsense.

40: Hulk – This feels like a movie that tries desperately to distance itself from its comic origins in many ways, but doesn’t manage to get anywhere else interesting. Also, it’s got some dreadful special effects.

39: Amazing Spider-Man – Unnecessary. There is little this movie does that is better than Spider-Man did a decade before. It does have a wisecracking Spidey, but otherwise it is wholly inferior.

38: Daredevil – I really didn’t know how to rank this one, since there is a sizable gap between the theatrical and director’s cuts, but neither of them are particularly good.

37: Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer – If it weren’t for the super disappointing Galactus cloud and the still somewhat disappointing Dr. Doom, this would have ranked higher. Of course, I do have a soft spot for superhero movies that are actually fun and for kids.

36: X-Men Apocalypse – a complete mess, but largely entertaining.

35: Green Lantern – I, and nobody else, consider this a near miss. It reeks of too many cooks in the kitchen, but there are moments when it is everything I actually want from a GL movie. Too bad it features not one but two bad villains.

34: Fantastic 4 – It is cheesy and dumb, but it is enjoyable anyway. Not good by any stretch of the imagination, but largely inoffensive.

33: Deadpool – Many went gaga over this, but it is merely okay. The plot is the most basic of any superhero movie; all it has going for it are hit or miss jokes and an on point Ryan Reynolds, which actually counts for much.

32: The Incredible Hulk – It is just kind of scattered and dull. It improves on the first Hulk movie, but it is still the worst movie from Marvel Studios.

31: Iron Man 2 – This was the first big step in building the Marvel cinematic universe and it almost didn’t work. The central plot is undercooked while the film spends too much time trying to set up Avengers. Still, Robert Downey Jr. as Tony is never not entertaining.

30: X-Men – The one that started it all, or at least started this current string of superhero movies after they were all but buried. Despite a great cast, it hasn’t aged all that well.

29: Superman Returns – There are some parts of this movie that are just great, like when Superman saves the space plane, but it ties itself too closely to the original Superman and takes some odd turns aside from that.

28: Suicide Squad – A grimy, messy movie that does hold some glimmers of what could have been really good.  Some really entertaining performances buoy it just enough.

27: The Wolverine – Much better than the first pass, but it gets really silly in the last act. Still, I mostly liked it.

26: Watchmen – Ponderous and self-important, but not a bad adaptation of this much loved comic. I feel no need to ever see it again, but it wasn’t bad.

25: Hellboy – It spends a lot of time on an origin and introducing an every man character, but once things are up and going it shines.

24: Avengers Age of Ultron – Both bloated and completely empty. It is fun to see these characters together, but the second time lack the punch and the coherence of the first.

23: Spider-Man 3 – It gets goofy and seems to almost purposefully do Venom badly, but for all that it is a mess it is still rather enjoyable.

22: X-Men First Class – It falls apart completely in the last act, but before that First Class takes center stage, the stars and setting really make this movie go. It just can’t stick the landing.

21: Thor 2 – It feels a little like Marvel just going through the motions, but it is still a very entertaining film. It does completely was Eccelston as the villain.

20: Dr. Strange – Another Marvel origin movie.  Well made, but I found it somewhat unengaging; other than some kaleidoscopic scenery there wasn’t much here I hadn’t seen before.

19: Ant-Man – Shockingly good for how troubled its production was. It still feels the loss of Edgar Wright, but it is hard not to like Paul Rudd.

18: Man of Steel – This movie falters pretty dramatically at times, but the rest of it is rock solid. It may have the worst Pa Kent ever and a dreadful ending, but the rest is really damn good.

17: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice – Note that this ranking if for the extended cut, the original cut would rank significantly lower.  It isn’t the best superhero movie I’ve seen, but it is the one I have thought about the most.

16: Batman Begins – Nolan’s first take on Batman is close to great, but it doesn’t quite get there. There is nothing really wrong with it, but it pales to what came after it.

15: Spider-Man – Sam Raimi’s initial effort is still the gold standard for origin stories. Some of the effects haven’t aged well and it still had to try to cover up its comics origins, but it remains a good film.

14: Iron Man 3 – This is just about the best movie that feels like it is largely just going through the motions. RDJ is endlessly charming, which is enough to buoy and otherwise pedestrian movie.

13: Avengers – I’ve got this ranked high, but probably not as high as some would expect. It does spectacle as well as any film, but there is little behind that spectacle.

12: Captain America: Civil War – It has one truly transcendent scene and just enough of nearly a dozen interesting characters to make up for how forced parts of its plot seem.

11: X-Men 2 – This improved on the first movie in just about every way. Better action, stronger story, less of just the Wolverine show. Still the best straightforward X-Men movie.

10: Captain America: The First Avenger – Like Thor and Guardians of Galaxy up the list, this sets the superhero movie in another setting, this time as a war movie. It works, largely thanks to Chris Evans as Cap.

9: X-Men Days of Future Past – This is much like First Class, but without the wasted class and disaster of a final act. Bringing back Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellen was brilliant.

8: Thor – I really like this movie’s fantasy take on a superhero. The opening parts in Asgard are some of my favorite parts in any superhero movie and the stuff on Earth almost matches it.

7: Iron Man – Marvel’s first is still one of their best. It is the best rendition to date of an origin story, all of which are basically the same.

6: Spider-Man 2 – The first one was good, but this one had a lot more space to work with the origin dispensed with.

5: Hellboy 2: The Golden Army – It doesn’t need the origin story of the first movie, so it is free to do whatever Del Toro wants, which is crib from Miyazaki movies in a really satisfying way.

4: Guardians of the Galaxy – Superheroes by way of Star Wars that works better than it has any right to. It is just a charming delight.

3: The Dark Knight Rises – I know many would have this ranked lower, but it is just about perfect. It is not as tight as The Dark Knight, but it gets by on being completely, delightfully bonkers.

2: Captain America: The Winter Soldier – This manages to be a sequel to both the first Captain America movie and The Avengers and be better than the both of them.

1: The Dark Knight – This is the cliché answer, but I still think it is the right one. It really is just an excellent movie.

Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations

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It is not quite accurate to say that the Ace Attorney series is what made the DS for me, but it is not exactly inaccurate either. There are too many great games on the DS to credit its legacy to any one game or series. From a cartload of Dragon Quest and Pokemon games to quirkier stuff like Professor Layton or Trauma Center, the DS library is stuffed with great games. No game did more to sell me the system than the original Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney. The series kept me enthralled throughout the life of the system, even if they never quite recaptured the magic after the original trilogy. The final game in that original set of games, Trials and Tribulations is the glorious culmination of the series to that point.

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I refrained from calling any of these games the best in the series as I’ve played through them, but having finished Trials and Tribulations I am confident calling it the best. It has the strongest set of cases and an excellent finale that brings the whole trilogy full circle. It starts with the strongest intro case, one starring Mia Fey as a rookie defending a hapless college age Phoenix. It not only introduces gameplay concepts, it also introduces all relevant characters and sets the stage for the big finale.

What sets this game apart is how strongly its central theme comes through. It is a game about identity. The first case has Phoenix’s girlfriend, Dahlia, playing an obviously fake role. At least, it is obvious to everyone save Phoenix. The next case has a dual layered secret identity, with two people claiming to be a famous thief and establish their alibi. The third case brings in a fake Phoenix. The prosecutor in this game, Godot, is a complete unknown. When the game finally builds to its epic final case, they whole thing is a mix of secret identities and hidden agendas. None of the other games use an idea repeatedly like hidden identities are used in Trials and Tribulations. It don’t know what, if anything, the game is trying to say with them, other than a general quest for the truth. Phoenix is constantly faced with chameleons in this game, and each time he is able to untwist their lies and false faces to get to the truth.

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The last case in particular is a triumph. It is the perfect conclusion to this trilogy. It’s completely ridiculous, but in a completely Ace Attorney way, managing to combine Phoenix’s story from this game with the trilogy long story about the Fey family to create a story that ties up nearly everything in a complete bow. That case also somehow has time to put something on a capper of the stories and Edgeworth and Franziska von Karma as well. That is a case is personal for everyone involved, concluding with the series trademark tragedy-tinged optimism.

Coming out of this game I can see why Capcom chose to move on from Phoenix after this game. His story was over; they were not going to top this. The obvious next step, which ended up as something of a side-step, would have been games starring Myles Edgeworth. He was still a character with plenty of stories to tell. The route they took with Apollo Justice was probably the worst possible one. They didn’t go back to Phoenix for inevitably diminished returns, nor did they go for a clean break. Instead they brought back Phoenix in a smaller role that all but ignored these three games. The fact that Maya is not a part of that game is telling as to how far wrong it gets Phoenix.

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There are no weak cases in this game. As I’ve already written, the first and last cases are excellent, but the middle two and a half are also good. The second case is likely the weakest, if only for that whiff of missed opportunity. Its two connected cases and complex blackmail schemes are fine, but none of its characters leave a strong impression. Mostly because they aren’t given the opportunity to. The game spends a lot of time with the client and the culprit, but other characters are kind of left by the wayside. The next is a complex puzzle that happens to feature this game’s embarrassing stereotype. Still, it is an altogether excellent case. After that is a return to Mia and the origin of the villain from the opening case, it exists solely to set the case for the finale.

While all of the main characters get plenty of development, none grow more in this game than Mia. Due to the unfortunate murder in the first game, Mia was never more than a small presence in the game. She was a character that quite literally didn’t have a life outside of the case. In Trials and Tribulations she truly develops into a character worth caring about.

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That is the beauty of the Ace Attorney series. A positive development like learning more about Mia is tinged with sadness because she is already dead. It is true in characters like Pearl, whose cheerful innocence belies the tragedy of her upbringing and situation. Trials and Tribulations is only possible because of the games that came before it, but it is a wholly satisfying conclusion to Phoenix Wright’s story.