Summer Movie Preview

I know it is still the middle of spring, but the first summer popcorn movie opens this week and that means it is time for my yearly Summer Movie Preview. As usual, I spent the better part of an hour trolling movie sites (imdb.com and boxofficemojo.com) to find the movies that I am excited to see this summer. To keep things interesting, I’ve also included some that are just the opposite; they are the movie that I have no intention of seeing and am appalled or disgusted by. I’ve got them on here in release order, with a few thoughts about each film and the likelihood of my seeing it (Certainly, Likely, Unlikely or Fat Chance). So what is on the docket for 2016? Let’s find out.

  • Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice – Some rumblings about WB’s nervousness and that first tone deaf trailer aside, I am pretty pumped to see this tonight. I am an easy sell for Superman and while I wasn’t enthralled with Snyder’s first take on the character I have (probably delusional) hopes for this one. March 25 Certainly.
  • The Jungle Book It has an all-star cast and doesn’t look too shabby, but I wonder if this live action version will have anything to add to Disney’s animated classic. That worry really only comes to mind since this is clearly a live action take on that specific version of the story. Favreau is directing and he’s got some good films under his belt. I’ll give it a look. April 15 Likely.
  • The Huntsman: Winter’s War – The first movie, Snow White and the Huntsman, was surprisingly good. It had the feeling of an 80’s fantasy movie more than one of LotR’s progeny. I have no idea what to make of this sequel, but I am intrigued. Especially by the cast. Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth, Jessica Chastain and Emily Blunt. April 22 Likely.
  • Keanu – Key and Peele doing a movie about two guys trying to save their kitten from gangsters? Yeah, I’m in. April 22 Likely.
  • Ratchet & Clank – This is a video game adaptation, so precedence suggests it will crap, but the games tend to be really fun and funny, with a set up that translates pretty easily to the big screen. I’m holding out hope for this. April 29 Likely.
  • Captain America: Civil War – This looks good. Avengers Age of Ultron was initially pleasing, but it felt bloated and unfocused, so hopefully this one is more cohesive and satisfying. It should be, the last Captain America movie was the best Marvel film yet. May 6 Certainly.
  • The Nice Guys – I was sold on this one, starring Ryan Gosling and Russel Crowe as PIs, with the trailer I saw before Hail, Caesar! It looks to be really fun and I hope it doesn’t get lost in the summer shuffle. May 20 Certainly.
  • Alice Through the Looking Glass – I know the first live action Alice in Wonderland made a ton of money, but did anyone really want a sequel? A sequel not directed by Tim Burton? I don’t know, this does not sound particularly promising. But it is worth at least paying a little attention to given the massive success of the first one. May 27 Unlikely
  • X-Men: Apocalypse – The last X-Men movie was the best yet, hopefully this one can continue the trend. It does return a lot of the most famous X-Men to the team and is looking pretty good. Maybe this take on the core X-Men team will be more faithful and interesting than the first pass, even without Wolverine. May 27 Certainly.
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows – Holy shit does this look terrible. The previous movie was one of the worst things I’ve ever seen in a theater. This one brings in a lot of fan favorite stuff from the cartoon, but it looks to be as much as a miserable piece of shit as the first one. June 3 Fat Chance.
  • Warcraft – I haven’t been a fan of this series since Warcaft 2 way back in the day, but I am a fan of cheesy fantasy movies I am somewhat intrigued. The trailer doesn’t look that good; it looks like a bad cartoon. John Carter did giant green men better a few years ago. Still, this could be a lot of fun. Normally I’d be on the fence with something like this, but the rest of June is a wasteland, so I’ll probably end up there. June 10 Likely.
  • Finding Dory – A sequel to the Pixar movie that I seem to like less than anyone else, starring the character that is the biggest reason I didn’t really like it. It sounds like we’ve got another Cars 2 on our hands. Still, I trust Pixar despite their one miss so far. I’ll be there. June 17 Likely.
  • Independence Day – Another sequel, this time to a movie that was never good in the first place and missing the one thing people would actually want to see come back. I really don’t know what the point of this sequel is. Does anyone actually want it? I can’t say that I do, but the trailer seemed to excite some people. June 24 Fat Chance.
  • The BFG – Steven Spielberg directing a Roald Dahl adaptation? Sounds good to me. The worst we could expect is what, Hook? I’d take that. I don’t know enough to be excited, but I like Spielberg. July 1 Likely.
  • The Legend of Tarzan – I am a sucker for Edgar Rice Burroughs and this is looking pretty solid. I like that it doesn’t appear to just be doing the original Tarzan story, which is the only one that anyone ever does. This should be interesting. July 1 Certainly.
  • Ghostbusters – This has a great cast and Ghostbusters has always been an excellent concept. Hopefully it brings something new to the table rather than just a remake of the first. As long as it has some of the charm it should have I am in. July 15 Likely.
  • Star Trek Beyond – The last Star Trek movie was dumb and an awkward retake on Wrath of Khan. I don’t know what to make of this one, other than it seems to keep not really being much like Star Trek. For all of its flaws, I kind of enjoyed Into Darkness. Of course, I don’t have much attachment to original Trek. July 22 Likely.
  • Jason Bourne – I’ve got to be perfectly honest, while they are exactly the sort of thing I should like, none of the Bourne movies have done anything for me. I want to like them, but they just sort of wash over me. Still, I am at least somewhat intrigued to see this, if only because it has an excellent cast. July 29 Likely.
  • Suicide Squad – This movie has a great concept and a great trailer. It is straight up a supervillain Dirty Dozen. While it might disappoint, it might also turn out something like Guardians of the Galaxy. I am really eager to see which way it goes. August 5 Certainly.
  • Pete’s Dragon – Why is there a remake of a 40 year old kids movie that wasn’t all that good to begin with? Maybe it could be good. August 12 Unlikely.
  • Kubo & the Two Strings – The previous highly intricate stop motion movies from these people have been good, but they have also all had a ghoulish bent that really doesn’t do anything for me. This one looks to be more of straightforward adventure, I really looking forward to a Laika movie that I can really enjoy. August 19 Likely

What movies did I miss? Disagree with me about any of these? Well, write me a comment. I know I skipped by a lot of comedies, but finding comedies that I expect to enjoy enough to see in theaters has been increasingly hard as I get old and humorless. It looks to be shaping up to be a lopsided summer, with a lot of good stuff in April and May, but almost nothing in June or August with an okay July wedged in there.

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