Movies

The 3 Stooges Review

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The 3 Stooges is exactly what one would expect from a 3 Stooges movie. Larry, Curly and Moe beat each other up and get into a variety of moronic mishaps for about an hour and a half, featuring some fine slapstick and physical comedy. For the most part the movie works. The 3 Stooges may be low-brow, but it is undeniably funny.

The plot of 3 Stooges is thin to nearly no-existent. The stooges are orphans who are never adopted. Stealing the plot right from The Blues Brothers, the orphanage needs an obscene amount of money to keep from being shut down and the stooges set off to save it. There is only the barest of nods to plot actually holding the thing together. What is there is mostly an excuse to get the Stooges to somewhere else for the next scene. The writer(s) seemed to realize that there is no story featuring the Stooges that can be maintained for a full movie, so the film is divided into roughly 30 minute segments. While there are some weaker scenarios, like part of the Stooges trip to the hospital, there are also some great ones, like Moe accidental audition for a reality show and his antics toward the cast of Jersey Shore.

The format mostly works. Nearly every scene featuring the adult Stooges is great. It is the other part of the film where things falter. The young Stooges are quite terrible, but they don’t really have any charm either. The thin villains aren’t much fun either. But the adult Stooges are spot on, as is Larry David as Sister Mary Mengele. What is great is the attention to detail in the film. Any line that is not explicitly a joke is there for a reason. The potential adoptive father’s being a jerk is not just a one off joke, it is a clue to his real nature. When he shows up later it should no surprise that he only wants to help is they want to sue (He’s a lawyer.) Everything connects in a way that in a serious movie would be too precious, but it works here.

The 3 Stooges is more entertaining than it probably should be. It is the definition of mindless, but satisfying. It pleases my inner child to see Moe knock Larry on the head with a hammer, as does the elaborately choreographed three way fights. This movie is pure stupid fun.

*** Stars

John Carter of Mars

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John Carter is almost a new addition into the pantheon of great Sci-fi movies, but ultimately it is too flawed to be considered with the absolute greats, like Empire Strikes Back and Blade Runner. John Carter is still very good and highly entertaining. Based loosely on the first two books of a series by Edgar Rice Burroughs (Tarzan), the tales of John Carter’s adventures on Mars have been delighting people for more than a century. The film version is not without its compromises, including the very title of the film, but it does a great job of conveying the look and feel of Barsoom on the big screen.

To start with, John Carter is definitely a flawed film. The plot often feels rushed, a result of not just fleshing out the events of the somewhat sparse first novel but also weaving in some elements from the second one. This movie is packed with things happening, leaving it little time to breathe or to linger on any of them. The changes to the plot are largely good ones, reading the books I never got the feeling that Burroughs put much thought into what came next so there are places in the books and especially places between books that don’t quite gel. John Carter is in some ways a better telling than the original, but it is certainly not a concise telling. The jumpiness of the plot undercuts any tension or weight much of the narrative could have had, leaving John Carter feeling slightly empty.

However, the character do a lot to make up for the plot’s shortcomings. John Carter is a world weary, sarcastic hero in the vein of Indiana Jones, though nowhere near that entertaining. His eventual love interest Deja Thoris is one of the most legitimately interesting female leads in an action movie. She manages to avoid “strong female character territory,” instead coming off as a true person, albeit one of the strange world that is this films Mars. She is a scientist warrior princess but not out of some contrivance to make her seem as awesome as John Carter, but because as a Princess she was trained to fight and choose to learn. She doesn’t just fall for John Carter, using her expertise to help him, she deceives him and tricks him, trying to convince or force him to help her. John Carter may be the main character, but Deja has goals as well, and is largely smart about pursuing them. The villains are not so fleshed out, Sab Than is just a thug and the other is his manipulator.

The green skinned, four armed Tharks are some of the best uses of CGI characters I’ve ever seen. Possibly it is director Andrew Stanton’s background in animation showing through, but even though they could not pass as real, they do seem alive. The way they move, their facial expressions, the Tharks almost steal the whole movie. Woola, Carter’s alien dog thing, does steal large parts of it. He runs around like a playful cartoon character, zipping along at his master’s heels. Though the CGI in this movie is not the best I have seen, it is probably the most believable. Because it doesn’t ask the viewer to believe these things are actually real, just that they are alive.

That goal is helped by the healthy dose of humor running through the film. John Carter is an outlandish adventure, playing it absolutely straight would be unbearable. So Carter treats his adventure’s with more than a touch of be comical disbelief. The movie is not a comedy, but it doesn’t take itself too seriously. It is very similar in tone to the Star Wars movies. It can be and is serious during the important scenes, but the heaviness of the later scenes is contrasted with the lightness of his early adventures.

In all, John Carter is a good movie. Its not mind blowing, in the 100 years it took John Carter to get to movie screens, much of it was stolen by other films. There is nothing here we have never seen before, but for the most part John Carter is a very well but together collection of now familiar elements. If you like sci-fi, and maybe felt disappointed in the Star Wars prequels, I can’t recommend this enough.

Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva is No Mystery.

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When video games become movies it is often not a good thing. Animated films seem to fare better than live action ones, but even then the crap far outweighs anything of quality. Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva, though it is far from perfect, falls pretty far up the quality side of the spectrum. Professor Layton is in some way the perfect game to make the jump to film, since it’s story and gameplay are wholly separate. For the most part it does work as a movie. Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva is, for better or worse, a film that could have easily been the plot to the next game in the series.

For those unfamiliar with Professor Layton (first you should rectify that like now) the series follow the exploits of archaeology professor and puzzle enthusiast Hershel Layton and his trusty apprentice Luke as they travel across Europe (mostly the U.K, though) solving elaborate mysteries. Every game adds new characters, all rendered in the series ugly, lumpy, utterly charming style. Recent additions are Emmy, Inspector Grosky and Descole, all of whole play large roles in the movie. While the gameplay consists entirely of puzzles, the stories are fantastical and ridiculous adventure fare. Eternal Diva ramps up the ridiculousness even more than most of the game, eliciting as many eye rolls as delighted smiles.

In the film, the titular professor receives a letter from a former student, an opera singer, who asks him to come and investigate at her next performance. This turns into a contest to win the secret of immortality learned from the Atlantis-like civilization of Ambrosia. It gets crazier from there, with organ powered robot castles and whisky barrel helicopters. It does retain the charm of the game’s core cast; from the eager Luke to the excitable Emmy to the ever calm Layton the gang is just as likable as ever.

It is not a perfect movie. It is ridiculous, even for Layton. Enough so that it makes it hard to maintain suspension of disbelief. There are also some moments that draw attention to the series video game roots.

It isn’t a great introduction to the Professor’s adventures, but Professor Layton and the Eternal Diva is a decent enough adventure movie in its own right. It is a treat for longtime fans and should entertain most newcomers, though they may not leave wowed with the franchise. In all, I’d call it a success.

It is Time to Meet Them

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The Muppets Review

I saw The Muppets last week. You should do the same. It is a terrific movie, even for those who are not already fans of the Muppets. It manages to both cash in on viewers nostalgia while still offering something new.

Some of the new additions to the Muppets world are this movie’s main characters: brothers Gary and Walter, as well as Gary girlfriend Mary. While these characters eat up a lot of screen time, they never feel obtrusive. Rather than pull attention away from the real stars, Kermit and Piggy and Fozzie, they offer new viewers a lens in which to view the old beloved characters. Gary and Walter love the Muppets, and they help show new viewers that they should love them too. It is especially amazing how likable Walter is, considering he is a new Muppet made just for the movie. He could have been the Scrappy Doo of the movies, but his sunny optimism and suitably reverent of the true Muppets that he is a wholly welcome addition.

The movie plays off the fact that the Muppets have been largely out of the spotlight for most of the last decade or so. In the movie they have been broken up as well. Their triumphant return to movie theaters is also a triumphant return in the movie. At the behest of Walter and to save the old Muppet theater, Kermit tries to get the band back together for one last show.

As they travel the country to collect the troupe and prepare for the show, the jokes and bits start coming fast. Not all of the jokes hit, but they move on so fast soon there will be one that if hilarious. Some are great, like Fozzie;s fall to performing with the knock-offs the Moopets and Rolf’s tale. The musical numbers are also largely great, though it doesn’t appear that Jason Segel can dance even a little.

It is a celebration of the Muppets, but also a reintroduction. The movie doesn’t just look back on the Muppets and their history, but it does in a way that welcomes new fans to the fold, not excluding them for not being familiar with the past. As long as the viewer has no preconceived notions about musicals or puppets, The Muppets is sure to entertain. It is certainly more sweet for old fans of the Muppets, though. Whoever your favorite Muppet may be (mine‘s Rowlf), they will get a moment or two to shine. Unless your favorite is Rizzo the rat, who barely appears. I was flooded with warm memories of the Muppets upon watching this, and most of my Muppet related memories are about Muppet Babies.

This is the best family movie of the year, and one of the best movies of the year period. It manages to be funny without being insipid or vulgar, something not many movies accomplish. The Muppets will entertain kids without talking down to them and entertain adults without seeming childish. It is really, really good.

The Big Year Review

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Ads for The Big Year seemed to position it as a comedy, which I guess isn’t strictly wrong, but anyone expecting raucous laughs will be disappointed. It is funny; Steve Martin never fails to amuse, Jack Black has a few masterful pratfalls and Owen Wilson is as glib as ever. However, The Big Year is not a film reliant on jokes, it is character driven. And bird driven. It repeatedly starts obvious comic set ups only to quickly deflate them. The Big Year purposefully avoids it comic potential to tell a more sedate, thoughtful story.

The Big Year is about three bird watchers, or birders as they apparently like to be called. Steve Martin plays Stu Preissler , a successful businessman who is eager to retire and enjoy his hobby full-time. Jack Black is a down on his luck middle class guy who wants to do something special. And Owen Wilson is the champion birder who is planning to start a family with his wife. All three end up doing a big year, which is a birder’s attempt to see as many birds as possible in a single year. As much as this movie is about these three characters, it is also about the birds. I am going to assume that the bird information is accurate, though I know little about it myself, but the film revels in the scenery and wildlife of North America. They travel to the four corners of the continent in attempts to see the most rare of birds. Each of the main characters face personal challenges to complete the big year. Real life is always trying to draw them out of their birding obsession, from business, to family to simple survival.

The competition between the trio is mostly downplayed. Black’s and Martin’s characters immediately become friends and their one spat is quickly resolved because both characters are adults. Which is why the laughs are a bit lacking in this supposed comedy. Situations arise that would normally be the fodder for jokes, but characters in The Big Year act like adults for the most part, hurting the comedy potential. Owen Wilson is sneaky, but never truly underhanded. In all it is remarkable how nice and likeable all the characters are. Wilson’s constant absence from his wife opens up the possibility of her cheating on him, but even though he is playing the villain here, he is not a bad enough guy that viewers would relish his comeuppance.

In the end, The Big Year is almost more of a tragedy than a comedy. Each character faces important decisions over the course of the year and must live with the results of those decisions. The results are not unexpected, but in at least one case it is quite sad. AS a comedy, this film lacks humor; as a drama it lacks focus.  It is a likable but forgettable movie that entertains but never truly engrosses the viewer.   The Big Year is about three men choosing what is most important to them and having to face the consequences.

You Call this Archaeology? Part 4 Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

So now, it is time for the last, at the present, of the Indiana Jones movies, the much-maligned Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I know a lot of people don’t like this movie and think it is a crime against the rest of the franchise if not cinema itself. Those people are wrong, and probably stupid. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, while not without its foibles and a few sour notes, is an excellent continuation of the series. It takes the impossible task of making a sequel after 20 years that still feels like the earlier films and not only succeeds, it turns the time gap into one of the films greatest strengths. I have two goals in this review. The first is to show why I like the movie so much. The second is to show how wrong you (the hypothetical you that dislikes this movie, because I‘m sure most people reading this are smart enough to see how awesome this movie is) are for hating it. Sounds easy to me.

Like with the rest of the movies, we can look to the opening scene for a statement of intent. In Raiders it was the Indy/Belloq rivalry, in Temple ‘Anything Goes’ and in Crusade it was Jones Sr./Jr. The opening scene in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is a statement of intent for the rest of the film. Only it seems that most viewers were too distracted by CG prairie dogs to notice. The first sound heard is Elvis Presley’s Hound dog. That is important. It is one of the most famous songs from the ‘50’s and the film is trying to establish setting. It is the same as the shot of the mushroom cloud in a few minutes. This is Indiana Jones in the nuclear age. By this time, the pulp heroes of the ‘30’s that he is based on had disappeared. In their place rose Sci-Fi movies and creature features. Concerns over the dangers and opportunities presented by new science trumped interest in mysticism and the occult. Indy no longer belongs. The world that exists in 1956 is not the world of 1936. Seeing the mushroom cloud in Indy’s brave new world moment. Such people fill this world as Mac, Indy’s treacherous supposed friend and the villainous Irina Spalko with her interest in pseudo-science. We also get the message that while the world has changed, Indy hasn’t. He is still quick with a supposedly witty quip or an opportunistic escape.

The sticking point for people seems to be Indy’s escape from a nuclear explosion via refrigerator. It is patently ridiculous. Much like him being drug for a few miles behind a truck on rough terrain. Or escaping a crashing plane in a life raft. Judging an Indiana Jones movie on realism is flatly refusing to entertain the film on its terms. I can only assume that the people who decided that this scene was where suspension of disbelief was irrevocably broken has never went back an examined the plausibility of the previous films. The unbelievability is a feature, not a bug and it has been that way since Raiders of the Lost Ark. I agree that in some cases, it crosses the line of acceptance, like most of Temple of Doom, and I’ll agree, grudgingly, that the fridge scene fits that bill. It is but a small thing, and an unimportant one to boot. (Also, the fridge was lead lined, what more do you want?) The important thing is the mushroom cloud. That is the image that should dominate Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

One of the biggest reasons I like Kingdom of the Crystal Skull so much is that it is the only Indian Jones sequel. It is the only one of the movies to pick up on theme’s and characters from previous movies and advance them. In fact, it plus Raiders and Crusade tie together to make an effective trilogy. Temple of Doom can safely be ignored. Raiders of the Lost Ark is the story of Indiana’s romance of Marian Ravenwood, but neither appears or is mentioned in Last Crusade. Something must have happened to them in between, and the films’ chronology places 2 years between the two movies. It also has Indy chafing against the bureaucracy of government agencies. He is willing to risk life and limb to help them and they are more than willing to deny him his prize. The Last Crusade is about Indy fixing his relationship with his father, about both of them realizing the importance of family. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull ties those two ideas together. While Indy was preserving one family, he was ignoring another. The lessons he learned in the third movie help Indy resolve his problems from the third.

And we get a stupendous motorcycle chase with Shia LaBeouf looking exactly like Marlon Brando in the Wild One. Now an old man, Indy’s backseat dialogue mirrors his father’s. It is also why the reveal that Indy is Mutt’s dad is not much of a surprise at all. The movie could be any plainer about what was going on. For the next hour of so the adventure is as fresh and pop-y as it ever was. A breathless rush around the world, with only the most tenuous claim archaeological research.

Sticking point number 2 for many people is that the maguffin leads to aliens and not some religious mystical discovery. Frankly, this complaint is asinine. As I alluded to earlier, Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is deliberately echoing the zeitgeist of ‘50s, which means aliens and monsters. Indy is still the pulp hero from the 30s, but it is not the 30s anymore. The early parts of the film use a hammer to establish the time period, with popular music of the time and references to greasers and McCarthyism. It is brilliant, placing the pulp hero in a different milieu. Drawing the line at the existence of aliens, period, in the world seems a strange choice, since no one had problems with the veracity of Hindu death cults, the powers of the Ark of the Covenant or meeting immortals thanks to drinking from the actual Holy Grail. The Sci-Fi twist is one that makes perfect sense for what Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is doing. Same goes for the giant ants. They fit in perfectly with a crazy sci-fi adventure. This is why the Mutt as Tarzan scene fails so terribly. That obvious reference flat doesn’t fit in the rest of the movie. It is jarring and definitely strains suspension of disbelief. Luckily, it last all of 1 minute.

There are several one those jarring moments in Kingdom. Not as many as in Temple of Doom, but enough that it doesn’t rise to the level of Raiders of the Lost Ark or The Last Crusade. Those are two the best adventure movies of all time, Kingdom isn’t near that level. But it is not the unholy abortion that people want to make it seem. It is a good, very good even, adventure movie. It is certainly better than any entry in the genre since the Last Crusade. (I would love to be proved wrong about this, by the way. Just don’t say National Treasure or I’ll laugh in your face then push you down.) All that Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull needs to be enjoyed is a willingness to engage it on its own terms. A willingness not to go in wanting exactly Raiders of the Lost Ark again. An open mind. Too bad that seems too tall a task to ask of most viewers.

You Call This Archaeology? Part 2 Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

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Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom

Welcome back to my week long re-watch of the best series of films to ever be released in American Cinemas, in my humble opinion at least.  Today I’m reviewing what in my opinion is the weakest of the Indiana Jones movies, though even at that is a mostly enjoyable 2 hour adventure.

Raiders of the Lost ArK gets almost everything right, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom messes it all up. Still, it is a hard movie to hate. The problem is that it is impossible not to compare it to the rest of the series and it cannot hold up to that comparison. To Lucas and Spielberg’s credit and the movie’s detriment, they didn’t simply rehash Raiders. Temple of Doom is darker and despite being built around some supposedly cut Raiders’ set pieces more ambitious than the first movie. Unfortunately, its reach was beyond its grasp.

The first and biggest problem with Temple of Doom is its attempts to top Raiders of the Lost ArK. The attempts to make this one bigger pushes it beyond the limits of believability, both in the narrative itself and in the special effects. Indy’s feats were on the outer cusp of believability in Raiders, possible if improbable. With Temple possible is thrown right out of the window. Part of that is the tone of the film sung to the viewer in the opening musical number. Anything goes. (If you don’t enjoy the musical number this is definitely the wrong movie for you.) That holds throughout the movie. Anything goes in terms of what Indy is capable of. Have Indy jump out of a falling airplane on an inflatable life raft into a waterfall? Sure, why not. Anything goes. Too bad the special effects couldn’t quite make it believable. Indy’s greatest strength is in his humanity. That his adventures, while exotic and amazing, are within his abilities. The situations do not have to be even remotely believable. The magic stones and Indian murder cults are not this movie’s problems. Its biggest flaw is that often I do not believe that Indy could do what he is doing. Which is not that frequent, but it happens. Like the crash scene I mentioned already. He occasionally gets pushed out beyond his capabilities by the movies attempt to top Raiders. And while Raiders has the face melting scene, Temple of Doom is filled with effects that have aged poorly.

Anything goes with the tone as well. The villains are more visibly villainous, probably because no one need to be told how evil Nazi’s are. There are murders from the opening minutes. Not death by ancient trap, but actual murders. This movie is notably and intentionally darker than the rest of the series. It is right there in the title Temple of Doom. It is about Indiana Jones breaking up a child slavery ring. While it is darker, it is also goofier. Indy’s two sidekicks are wholly comic relief. Short Round is mostly enjoyable as Indy’s young double, though it has uncomfortable racist overtones. Willy Scott is a crime against the rest of this film. Marian was capable, if in over her head. Willy is completely out of place and wholly unlikable. She undermines the movies attempts to set up a central family dynamic among the three protagonists. She is even more of a child than Short Round. By the end of the film, the viewer is supposed to believe that they have grown together into a believable family unit, but the relationship between Indy and Willy never feels real. Indy and Short Round, however, become a very believable father/son duo. The setting and subject are much darker than the rest of the series, but it is counter by increasingly jokey and forced humor. Nowhere is the divide more visible than in the dinner scene at Pankot. While Indiana tries to get to the bottom of the rumors of the stolen stone and the rise of the Thuggee cult, Willy and Short Round face a farcical array of disgusting looking food. One side of the table is dark and mysterious, the other if filled with bad gross out jokes. Anything goes, no matter how schizophrenic it makes the experience.

While there are failures in tone and effect, they do not overwhelm the quality of the adventure. The opening scene in Shanghai is nearly perfect; from the song and dance routine to the chaotic shoot out to the car chase, it is a scene worthy of the best of the series. Once they get into the Temple, the movie picks up. Indy’s forcible induction into the Thuggee cult, through the Black sleep of Kali (reminiscent of Hot Potting from Rider Haggard’s She, though less murderous), lays it on a bit strong. It manages to continue the tone of being both startlingly dark and laughably silly at the same time. Telling, perhaps, is that Indy is saved by Short Round, not Willy. There is no chemistry between Indy and Willy; I can easily believe that the thought of sending her to her death wouldn’t snap him out of it. However, when Short Round arrives he does manage to snap Indy out of it. Those two have a connection that Willy doesn’t share.

The last half hour of Temple is a whirlwind that, aside from some badly aged special effects, is on par with Raiders. The freeing of the slave children is Indy at his put upon finest. From then on the film gets away from the purely dark and purely silly and is purely fun. The mine-cart chase sequence and the iconic confrontation on the bridge are both excellent scenes. They are bigger in scope than anything in the previous movie, but that doesn’t work to their advantage.

In all Temple of Doom is a flawed film. Indy is not quite the same character as he is in the rest of the series. He is more cynical and seems greedier. It feels as though Ford is playing Han Solo instead of Indiana Jones. The combination of the poorly conceived sidekicks, more Willy than Short Round, and the badly aged special effect keep this film from matching the rest of the series. As a simple adventure movie, it is fine. Slightly too dark for kids and slightly too silly for adults, but a reasonably pleasant ride for all that. Unfortunately, it is hard to view this movie without comparing it to its predecessor and sequels. In that light, it simply cannot hold up. Being the weakest film in an excellent series is the worst one can say about Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom, but that is enough to get it damned in most circles.

You Call This Archaeology? Part 1: Raiders of the Lost Ark

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Raiders of the Lost Ark

I usually try to keep a sizable variety of post topics here. Yeah, last week I had three posts about comic books, but that was mostly an anomaly. This week I had several posts planned. My usual quick post about what video game I’ve been playing, my book reviews for last month and maybe something about how stupid Mizzou going to the SEC would be were all ready to go. Sometime late last week, however, I decided, “screw that, I’m going to write about Indiana Jones.” Why you may, but probably didn’t, ask? Because it is almost my birthday, and around my birthday I like to watch some of my favorite movies. The Indiana Jones movies are some of my best-loved movies, and are frequently watched around my place. So, this week I am going to review all four Indy movies. Starting today with my thoughts on Raiders of the Lost Ark. (Spoilers: I like Raiders a whole lot.)

Raiders of the Lost Ark is a perfect adventure movie. There is no film in the genre that can touch it. It is terse and action packed, fun but not stupid. This first one is particularly focused, with some but little of the slapstick humor that would come later. It is the only film in the series with a believable love story. While Indy visits large portions of the globe, it is tightly plotted and steams from start to finish without ever losing momentum. In short, it is everything an adventure movie should be.

Much of lure for this film, and the whole series, lies in its hero. Indiana Jones is the possibly the greatest character to ever appear on screen. He is simultaneously larger than life and believably human. Indy does amazing things, like out run a giant boulder and hijack trucks filled with Nazis single-handedly, but doing so is visibly difficult for him. His feats are a struggle, they leave him physically drained and damaged. He doesn’t win because he is smarter, though he often is. He doesn’t win because he is stronger, though he sometimes is. Indy wins because he perseveres. He will not, cannot quit. It is primarily his struggles that make him appealing. The other part of his appeal is Harrison Ford. Indiana Jones is nowhere close to a wholly original character. He is a throwback to pulp heroes like Doc Savage and Allen Quartermain (I don’t think Quartermain actually counts as a pulp hero, but the intent is the same.) There is even a dash of Superman in there with his mild mannered Dr. Jones who, with a change of hats, becomes the unstoppable Indiana. Ford infuses Indy with a perfect roguish charm, alternately exasperated and amused by what he encounters. There is not movie star from the last 30 years that has charisma like Ford. Even when he is sleepwalking through a movie, he is still eminently watchable. Raiders of the Lost Arc, and the rest of the Indiana Jones films, feature Harrison Ford at his best.

The part of this movie that shines above the rest is in its villain. Rene Belloq is the only true rival Indiana Jones faces in any of his movies. Belloq claims that he and Indy are alike, but that is far from true. Their goals and their skills are similar, but their methods and outlooks are wholly different. Belloq is cynical, he is ruthless. As long as he achieves his goal there is no deal he won’t make or break. Indy is an idealist, he has limits. A big visible difference is in whom they ally themselves with. Indy has friends, from Marian to Sallah to Jock with his plane at the beginning. Belloq has tools that he uses to achieve his goals. There is no trust between Belloq and the Nazis, just like there is none between him and the Hovitos (?) at the beginning. He has constructed his relationship with them to last as long as it is convenient. Indy has to rely on his partners, and sometimes they let him down.

The conflict between Indiana Jones and Belloq is established wonderfully in the opening scene. We see Indy do all the work to find the idol, but Belloq comes in with an army and takes it from him. “Dr. Jones. Again we see that there is nothing you can possess that I cannot take away” is likely Belloq’s most famous line. That right there is the conflict that drives the movie. The Nazi’s are but window dressing, not important other than to have someone to fight. Belloq is whom Indy is truly at war with. Over everything. Belloq tries to seduce Marian not because he is attracted to her, or at least not only for that, but because she is with Indy. Belloq employs an army of Nazi’s to find the ark, using his expertise, of course. Indy digs with a small crew right under his nose to get it first. Note how Indy gets down and dirty to help with the actual digging; Belloq seems to believe that he is above that.

Their rivalry drives the movie to its conclusion, when Belloq opens the arc. There we see Belloq’s true cynicism and Indy’s romanticism. Unlike the Nazis, Belloq believes in the Ark’s power, but he doesn’t fully believe in it. He thinks he can control it, that he can master it. Indy does believe in the power of the Ark and knows the dangers it represents. He is romantic enough to believe in the mystical power of ancient artifacts, and wary enough to believe that power poses a threat. Belloq believes he is untouchable and that is his downfall.

There is no real point in going over the plot of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Nearly every scene is iconic, from the rolling boulder in the opening temple to the melting faces at the end. My personal favorite is the whole truck hijacking scene. It is perfect. The whole movie is nearly perfect. This is the gold standard for adventure movies.

Summer Movie Review and More

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By my figuring, Conan the Barbarian seems to be the last blockbuster (or attempted blockbuster) movie of Summer 2011. I am taking it upon myself to look back on all that I saw in theaters and decide if it was a good year for summer movies. I’ll start with my conclusion: this was a pretty great summer for movies.

I saw ten films this summer, starting with Thor (I know that wasn’t really summer, but close enough) and ending with Conan. If those ten I enjoyed nine of them and genuinely liked seven. Ten movies in a year is a lot for me. Ten in a summer is borderline crazy. Crazier still is that there are several movies I would have liked to have seen but was not able to. So first I will rank the ten movies I saw in order from least good to most good with a sentence or two explanation and linked to my review. Then I am going to list five movies I missed, again with a sentence or two explanation. Laslty, I am going to point out a few movies I want to see over the rest of the year.

10. Cowboys and Aliens. Terrible, just fucking terrible.
9. Conan the Barbarian. Boobs and Blood, but it doesn’t quite come together.
8. Green Lantern. A huge disappointment, but still mostly competent.
7. Horrible Bosses. Hilarious, but largely forgettable.
6. X-Men: First Class. Really good until the ambiguous ending for both groups of mutants but unambiguous for the Nazi monsters that are the rest of humanity.
5. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. Potter ends with a bang.
4. Thor. A terrific sci-fi/fantasy/superhero mash-up. I love Thor.
3. Captain America. A superhero movie on the level of Dark Knight and Iron Man.
2. Winnie the Pooh. A near perfect animated kids movie.
1. Super 8. A film just as nostalgic for the 80’s as I am.

From Horrible Bosses up those are all movies I would like to own on DVD. Even Green Lantern and Conan could get me on the clearance aisle. Fuck Cowboys and Aliens.

Now for the movies I missed.

  • Transformers 3. I skipped this, not missed it. It is apparently less of a humongous turd than the last one, but no matter the size I don’t want someone to shit on my face.
  • Pirates of the Caribbean 4. I actually wanted to see this, as I heard it had jettisoned most of the crappy baggage from the last 2. I’ve heard I didn’t miss much.
  • Cars 2. Bad reviews or not, it is a Pixar movie. Of course I wanted to see it.
  • Rise of the Planet of the Apes. I’m only listing this because I heard it was good. It did not look so to me.
  • Bridesmaids. It looks like a chick comedy, but I’ve heard good things about it.

As for the rest of the year, this is a hard list to make. These are movies I actually hope to see and due to my fairly remote location it is possible that movies that sound interesting will not show up at a cinema near me. (I had to drive nearly 100 miles to see Scott Pilgrim!) These are the ones that seem likely to widely available.

  • Moneyball. I’m not the biggest baseball fan, but I love sports movies and Brad Pitt is always entertaining.
  • Killer Elite. Jason Statham versus Clive Owen for the love life of Robery De Niro? Sign me up.
  • The Big Year. Owen Wilson, Jack Black and Steve Martin are all guys I like. Sounds good to me.
  • The Three Musketeers. The trailer has airships and hand cranked flamethrowers. I’m in.
  • Immortals. I have a soft spot for Greek mythology. This could be anything, but I’m interested.
  • J. Edgar. It’s Clint Eastwood.
  • The Muppets. It’s the Muppets.
  • Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows. The gang is back for round two. Sure, I’ll bite.
  • Mission Impossible – Ghost Protocol. Brad Bird directs, that’s good. And Simon Pegg is in the cast. Sounds good to me.
  • The Adventures of Tintin. Spielberg, Edgar Wright and Peter Jackson are involved. I’m in the seats.
Yeah, it should be a good fall for movies as well.

 

Conan the Barbarian Review

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The new Conan the Barbarian movie does a lot of things right. It is a perfectly trashy, lurid, vulgar low fantasy. The movie makes no pretense of being anything else. It captures the look and feel and taste of that sort of pulp fantasy. Which makes the problems with the film a bit more devastating than they should be. There are two major flaws to Conan the Barbarian, and they nearly, but not quite sink the whole movie. Continue reading →